haunted

I'm haunted by my mind
The thoughts that I cannot flee
Everywhere I go or turn
They follow me...taunt me

It's a bridge that can't be crossed
An item that can't be bought
It's stairs that can't be climbed
These thoughts that haunt my mind

How do you fight what you cannot see?
How do you silence what you cannot hear?
What can stop this pain I feel?
What can dry up all the tears?

God reaches out and calls my name
To come to him and leave the other
But isn't it a trap just the same
To leave one master for another?

Ah, I am not trapped here with them
These thoughts that are haunting me
God remove me from these demons
Because in your arms is where I am free

-Unknown

This just came to me in an e-mail forward from someone I don't even know. Thought I'd pass it on as this is the time of year...with family, financial pressures, new year new beginning plans, etc., that our thoughts can be destructive. Once we belong to God, thoughts cannot hurt us unless we let them control us and get out of His arms.

Not your typical holiday sentiment, but Merry Christmas and hoping your joy is much deeper than the smile on your face in front of the family!

Cowboys Week 15

Ok, the Cowboys are definitely "sputtering" at the wrong time of year. The barely got by the Lions and now got beat by the Eagles. Although I've said all along that the NFC is nearly impossible to sweep, I hated to this loss come at this time at home.

This week has already struck panic with everyone. Is TO going to blow up? Is this loss Jessica's fault? Is Romo's thumb ok? Well, maybe, no, and I hope not. Yes, I'd like to see Romo focused on football right now. He broke things off with Carrie Underwood saying he needed to focus on football. Was it football of the new contract? Because, once he got the contract, he was off to see Britney and now obviously running with Jessica. Hey, Romo! Football is still going on...and you've accomplished and won nothing yet!


Now, can we be done with E! and get to ESPN?

Roy, oh Roy! Roy is out of Saturday's game with a suspension for his trademark, yet illegal, horse-collar tackle of Donovan McNabb. So, hopefully we'll get better coverage of the slot guys and the tight ends. The D-line looked really good against the Eagles and contained McNabb well. The defense essentially gave up 17 points, but it only shows 10 thanks to Westbrooks fall down at the 1 (much to the demise of many fantasy football owners). I think its time to allow the true Cowboy stud to carry us into the playoffs and secure home field advantage...that player is not even a starter--Marion Barber.

Stat of the Week: The Cowboys had 11 Pro Bowlers named this week - TO, Witten, Flozell, Gurode, Ware, Davis, Folk are starters with Romo, Barber, Hamlin, and Newman as backups...again, that's Marion Barber...the "backup RB for the Cowboys makes the Pro Bowl!

Being Disappointed

I've decided I'm ready to set myself up for a little more disappointment. Sounds stupid? I know, but hear me out. Things in life have made me very cynical. I've become a person that expects the worse from people. The benefit to me was that I'm never disappointed in people because I was always prepared for the worst. The problem is that it also makes you very unhappy with people and somewhat isolated. I've wanted to live on an island with one ferry in and major security checks before anyone can enter my island.

I was watching a TV show the other night where the main character is a real jerk to everyone all the time. He always expected the worst from people and never gave anyone the benefit of the doubt. However, he was very good at his job and that was his appeal to people. I realized that, if not for that talent, he would have no friends at all and be very miserable. Someone finally said to him, "I would rather go through life expecting good from people and being disappointed every once in a while than to just always expect the worst."

The Bible is clear and I've posted on it before, a person that keeps friendships and close relationships with fools will suffer because those fools will use them and burn them for their benefit. And fools who have nothing to lose are the scariest because I have worked hard and God has blessed me with so much that I could lose. I know who those people are, and my feelings there won't change. But, I don't want to go through life assuming everyone else I meet is on that list until they prove to me they're not. I want to go through life assuming they're good until they prove they are the fools the Bible is talking about. I want to enjoy people and life and assume they're good...and maybe be disappointed every once in a while.

The Patriots Have Sold Their Soul

Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. 1 John 2:18

The Patriots have sold their soul to the devil. Their dominance is the work of evil forces led by the antichrist, Bill Belichick. He dominates under the name of teamwork, but people know there is more at work here although they just can't put their finger on it. The competition was was already brewing as the Patriots replaces their fanchise QB with a 6th round pick I refer to as the beast who was not allowed to adorn his true number because of NFL uniform reguations, but we know what number that is.

And what about the state of Massachusetts as a whole? They legalize same sex marriage and then the Red Sox win a World Series ending the curse of Babe Ruth and going on to win another World Series this season. Now the Celtics, once winners of championship after championship aquire KG and Ray Allen (who played a college basketball prospect named Jesus in a trashy movie) and are rolling in the NBA.

Sure, Massachusetts Senator John Kerry's run for president fell short as did his former Massachusetts politician Michael Dukakis, but why do we assume that the antichrist will enter into power through politics? What do you think the ratio of voters is to sports fans? Watch for Belichick's power to grow as the NFL continues to seek to go global even pushing for a Super Bowl in London. The end times could be coming through the billion dollar sports industries. The love of sports is a common thread across all of the world. Why do you think there were no planes crashed into stadiums and arenas? And guess what team played in and won the Super Bowl after 9/11? Yes, the Patriots!

ok...just a theory based on the evidence listed and amplified by my hatred of the Patriots. ...Did I mention I hate the Patriots?

Cowboys Week 14

Not much to say on this week. Barber looked great and I have to say that I'm satisfied with the role that he and Julius play together with the acception that Garrett needs to descretely put Barber back in on certain key situations such as when they go for it on 4th and 1 or drives that are important because they are behind.

The biggest issue with the game is the lack of getting TO the ball. He finishes with just 3 catches for 21 yds in a game they nearly lost. Perhaps they wouldn't have been behind if they had gotten him the ball more.

You can't deny one thing though...the Patriots found a way to beat the Ravens and the Cowboys found a way to beat the Lions, so a win is a win...I just hope we can get better play from our defense before the playoffs hit. We are putting a lot of pressure on Romo continually giving up over 20 points a game.

Stats of the week: Romo 35/44...his completion percentage is the one of the most important things we need from Romo...he's well into the 60s, but this will be the only single season passing record he won't break as Aikman had an over 69% on the books. Witten 15 catches for 138 yds...Witten and TO - who ya gonna cover?

People Watchin'

Is there any better activity than a good time of people-watching? Now, I'm not just talking about sitting around and making fun of people. It's still probably a wrong thing to do, but it's just a simple time of watching people and their interaction with each other...their expressions, demeanor, appearance, etc. Yes, basically making assumptions based on stereotypes. I mean, it obviously can't hurt anything if you have no interaction with them. And yeah...so fun.

Well, we had another good time of it this weekend as we were in San Antonio for a conference. There were the workout junkies in the workout room with us, the couples who had begun to look alike, the kid-grandparent combinations shopping together, the drunks at the riverwalk, the preacher standing on a step-ladder screaming at everyone at the Alamo, and engaged couples section where the girls were obviously holding various opinions they had until after the wedding and the guys were in major "good impression" mode.

Did we have to go all the way to San Antonio for that? Absolutely not. Some of the best people watching can take place by going having a seat at your local Wal-mart establishment! I've even made a Wal-mart bingo card before with things such as fanny packs, houseshoes, little skinny guy/big wife combos, 2 inch or more hair roots showing, strappy sandals, socks & sandals, etc. Yeah, call me mean...lol. It's just a game! I'm sure there's something about me on someone else's list, and that's cool with me!

Cowboys Week 13

Well, this was an exciting game indeed. Brett Favre came out like the old Favre and went to slinging, and it hurt the Pack early. I would like to have seen the Cowboys defense hold them better because they are going to need to play better defense to make it through the playoffs, but a win is a win...just ask the Patriots. Romo still had some improve, but he has held in check for only 2 carries of just -1 yard each, but he was able to beat them with his arm. I swear it seemed like Barber just wasn't getting the ball enough, but he ended the night with nearly twice as many carries as Julius (17 to 9). However, it has to stick out in people's minds that Julius was in the game and was used on a 4th and 1 that didn't make it.

Owens has a signature game of late and Crayton had some clutch catches with 2 TDs. I was just impressed with another big win in another big game. As the Patriots continue to win, it looks more and more like they are beatable. How sweet it would be for the '72 dolphins to see the Patriots go undefeated in the regular season and then lose in the playoffs...possible in the Super Bowl to the Cowboys.

Stat of the week: I hear it costs as much as $16,000 just to buy the right to purchase season tickets for the new stadium!!! And, I have to say I believe the Cowboy fans are loyal and biggest in number, but I'm not sure home field advantage will mean as much to us as it would to teams like Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Green Bay, and other crazy fan cities.

Cowboys Week 12

This was really just a week to get ready for next week as the Cowboys romped the Jets 34-3. Playing back-to-back Thursday games will leave it as a normal work week. It would be nice if Green Bay had been coming off a short week, but they played Thanksgiving too, so they've had a normal week to get ready as well. They are playing the second of two road games while this will be a second of two home games. I'd like to have every advantage possible.

I was sitting there stuffed on the couch and listening to in-law conversation, so I don't really remember anything that struck me other than the seeing the Cowboys take care of a game they should win by running the ball and gaining 174 yds on the ground and Romo only having to throw for 195 yds but going 21 for 28 (75%) to do it. Crayton was a late scratch, but we need him opposite of Owens to give a little credibility to keep DBs from just doubling and tripling TO all the time. Jones broke for 19 once and Barber broke for 20 once. Loved Newmans INT return...he's healthy...now we just need to get Henry healthy and they'll be a great tandem going into the playoffs.

Bring on Green Bay! This could be for home field advantage throughout the playoffs, and we sure don't want to have to go to Lambeau in January for a playoff game, so this game could have a major impact on who goes to the Super Bowl.

Stat of the Week: Barber 18 carries for 103 yds, 1 TD - so we know he's ready to chew up the clock when needed.

Cowboys Week 11

Well, I figured this game to be one of the biggest hurdles. I was afraid my stat of the week was going to be that, between Washington and Dallas, the team with a worse record at the end of the year actually has a 9-7 record against the "better" team each of the last 8 years. Even in Jimmy Johnson's 1-15 season, that one win was against the Skins. The NFC East is just a big rivalry that I see as the best in the NFL followed by the AFC West. So far, we are 4-0 in the East with only 2 more games to go, so that's saying a lot.

The biggest thing I've seen is our poise when we are behind and finding a way to win. It starts with all three bad snaps turning into no loss plays. That is where Romo is a real threat. He can turn nothing into something. I would trust him to replay that bad snap play again, if for no other reason than I know that Folk, unlike Gramatica, would slow down the guy that tackled him enough for him to get in the end zone.

We are still on pace for a home field deciding matchup a week from Thursday with Romo's idol Brett Favre and the Packers. Both the Packers and the Cowboys play on Thanksgiving (@ DET and v. NYJ, respectively) and then a week later in Dallas. Yes, I do believe with the experience and domination they are showing, injuries or strange things must happen for the Patriots to get beat in the Super Bowl. But, maybe Belichick's ego of playing Brady and the others enough to break Peyton's TD record and going undefeated will catch up with him and get someone hurt.

I know this sounds repetitious, but as each area of the team gets better, the glaring weakness continues to be Roy Williams covering tight ends as we gave up 89 yds and a TD to TE Chris Cooley. Williams continues to lead the team in tackles (8 this week) because they continue to go his way with the ball.

Talking about injuries, we have got to stay healthy. Our secondary is getting better (in spite of the 348 passing yds they gave up yesterday) as they get healthier. Hopefully Flozell is okay with just a 4-day rest before the Thanksgiving game. We have the Jets who come off an upset of the Pittsburgh Steelers, so we can't just look ahead to the Packers, but this should be a game to get past fairly easy.



Terrell Owens blew up again. He took credit for it by blaming his past coaches for not using him properly, but did give Garrett credit...not for being a good coach, but for giving him the ball...lol. And Romo continues to give TO the credit. That's just what I've been calling for and I love that Garrett and Romo embrace TO like that! TO had 8 catches for 173 yds and 4...count them, 4...TDs. That moved him to 3rd all time and quickly approaching Cris Carter in second. Romo needs just 3 TDs to pass Danny White for the season TD record for a Cowboy. He also needs 1 Super Bowl Victory to make sure he isn't labeled as another Danny White who got the stats but not a Championship like QBs below him on the stat records named Aikman and Staubach.

Stat of the Week: other than TOs obvious big game, 1 TURNOVER (1 INT, 0 FUMBLES)...gotta keep this low because it's hard to recover from them in the playoffs and big games!

family

I've got a good-lookin' wife and kids. Check out our pics by Deerinwater Designs:

Scott & Isha pics

Brooks Family pics

Lean not on Your Own Understanding

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

This is an all too familiar verse that I find myself constantly ignoring. Alisha, working on her Bible verse memorization for Bible Drill yesterday, walks up to me in the middle of a football game and quotes it to me. It was something I needed to hear. I believe I trust in God with most of my decisions and problems, but I don't always take away my "own understanding" in the equation. I want to worry in a way that makes me think I might be actually making suggestions to God about things I think I understand. And with things I don't understand, that worry turns into fear, frustration, and terrible thoughts. You cannot second-guess things because you can't change the past and the future is only secure when you give it to God and then LEAVE HIM ALONE with it.

Second-guessing is also a lack of faith. James 1:2-8 says, My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him aski faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. I am double-minded and unstable when I second-guess God, my past, or what God has for me from this point forward. And that isn't productive to those around me--especially my family.

Accepting that "everything happens for a reason" is trusting God... needing to know that reason is going back to leaning on your own understanding.

Thanks Alisha...

Cowboys Week 10

This was a very defining game for the Cowboys. It essentially gave them a 3 game lead over the Giants by dropping them to 6-3 and sweeping them for the year. I didn't really expect them to beat the Patriots, but they did hang with them better than anyone outside of the Colts and that was with a banged up secondary. So, without looking past the upcoming opponents, it looks like we are on our way to an NFC showdown with the Packers that could be a preview of the NFC Championship game. It is a huge game because it could decide home field advantage for the playoffs including the championship game. We don't want to be playing on Lambeau Field in January.

Back to this week's game... The Giants came in with a good formula...and that was to take Witten out of the game and exploit Roy Williams. I'm getting really tired of discussing a Pro Bowl caliber first round pick like Roy as a liability, so an announcement needs to be made that for the rest of the year, he is officially auditioning to remain with the team. Hamlin is doing an awesome job, so he has the comliment they say he lacked. He lead the team in tackles, but that is only because they had no fear of going at him. I saw numerous plays where he watched other tackle and just stuck his hands in to pull a player down rather than to knock the crap out of them.

The corners continue to impress me. They are getting healthy and even Green has gotten enough starts to be able to come in with experience in a nickel situation or against the Patriots or Colts in a possible Super Bowl matchup. The WRs for New York had only 8 catches for 74 yards and no TDs.

I wanna see Barber get more touches. Jones had better numbers than Barber this week, but I knew that was padded as soon as I saw a poor defense give up a 20-yd run on the first play of the game. Outside of that run, they were about equal, but niether was very good. As good as Romo and the passing game is, I'd like to see us have the ability to chew up the clock with 5 yds per carry.



Stat of the week: Shockey 12 catches for 129 yds and 1 TD - that's on you, Roy...
Owens - 6 catches for 125 yds and 2 TDs - thank you Romo and Jason Garrett for making your team better by loving TO!

Cowboys Week 9

Well, the boys come off their bye and roll over the Eagles 38-17. Romo has his contract and continues to carry himself as a "humble celebrity." Oh, I have no doubt that he's a competitor, and I don't mean the humble celebrity thing in a negative way. What I mean by humble celebrity is that he takes his contract, does his thing, pushed for TO to have a huge game over his former team and the fans that ran him out of town. If there's a most valuable trait that Romo has, it's that he's treating TO the way a QB needs to treat him to get the most out of him, and I love it!

We saw a very equal performance by the two RBs. I see them letting Jones go next season and resigning Barber to a decent contract and drafting someone to share the load with him, but we'll see. The secondary did their job again as they continue to get healthy for the playoffs. Hamlin and Henry each had an INT, and over half of McNabb's completions when to Westbrook out of the backfield, so coverage downfield was good. Roy made 5 tackles but I swear I continue to see him lay a shoulder on guys instead of tackling them. More and more often, they are bouncing off that shoulder and someone else has to make the tackle.

We have a big test this coming week when we have to go to the Giants after their bye and a 6 game winning streak. Matchup of the week will be Plexiglass v. the Dallas secondary. Playoffs are nearly a sure thing, but we want home field advantage because I don't want to see us have to go to New York or Green Bay for a game.



Stat of the week: Terrell Owens- 10 catches, 174 yds, 1 TD
All Eagle WRs combined- 10 catches, 134 yds, 1 TD

Cowboys Week 8

Well the Cowboys were off, but they had way too much time on their hands...at least on of the reportedly did. First, Romo was granted a 6 year, $67 million deal, just ahead of the $65 million deal Marc Bulger got with the same agent this years and the $60 million deal Tom Brady went into in 2005.

Well, that's fine with me, but here's what gets me. Romo breaks things off with Carrie Underwood this summer stating that the celebrity dating situation could cause him to not be taken seriously as a football player. Then, as soon as he gets his new contract, he's reportedly seen by Ryan Seacrest getting a lap dance from Britney Spears in an LA night club this weekend. So, I guess once he got his money, he was not only not worried about not being taken serious, he was ready to move on to skank material...

Maybe I'm being too judgmental. I mean, Britney may be a generational thing that I wasn't a part of. Perhaps there is someone like that in my generation that guys couldn't resist no matter how bad they got, and people older than me were saying "yuck" about. I don't know...couldn't think of anyone. But, I'm just disappointed in our little Cowboy Playboy if this is true...

Add in the scandal about Coach Phillips saying that Britney stole the name of her album and "images" on her video from his daughter who is a dancer at a club called "Blackout" and I'm predicting an overkill on the Britney references on the Sunday night game this weekend...just glad its Madden and Michaels rather than Kornheiser on MNF!

To Be Blessed

Not sure if I have anything original in this, but just something on my mind lately...

As Christians, we are blessed in so many ways. There is some balance between God's promise of blessing (even wealth, health, etc.) to his people and the realization that there is no set distiction between the problems in life that Christians face and non-Christians face.

Here are the "for sure's" to the difference:
1. Christians realize who is in control. They know God is there and they begin to "see" more because they start to recognize what God is doing. For non-Christians, it will always remain confusing because God's ways are not our ways. That brings comfort in knowing no matter how bad things can be or get, we can know we are never "spiraling to the bottom" the way it can appear if you don't know God is in control.
2. Following Christ does not make us perfect and we will sin again, but we sin less if we stay close to God. Sinning less leads to less consequences and many problems in life are due to the consequences of sin.
3. We realize we are blessed because we quit taking personal credit for the things we have in life--from health and loved ones to possessions and wealth.

Now, it comes into play that some people believe our wealth, health, and other blessings have a direct correlation with us asking for it, claiming it, and the faith behind that claim. We know Job had it...it was taken from him at no loss of faith from himself, but it was also given back to him. Well, my statement to that is always that, although the wealth and "people" were replaced, the individual children could never be replaced.

As a people whose natural instinct is to be selfish, I believe God actually made this easier for us than we think. I believe most of what he asks us to do is actually FOR us. When we pray for someone to be healed, God's overall plan isn't going to change for our desire for that person to be healed. The prayer isn't for that person...it's for us. It's for us to get closer to God and to know him better. Don't get me wrong, his plan could be for us to get closer to him by him answering the prayer to heal that person. But, the healing would still only come as part of his plan and not a direct reflection of our faith. I believe a person showing a small amount of faith for the first time could see there prayer answered as part of God's plan, and the most faithful person in the world praying day and night could see their loved one taken home if it was God's plan. I believe prayer, witnessing, seeking wisdom...it's all for our benefit...because God will heal who he wants, reveal himself to who he wants, and carry on his plan with or without us. But, we know it is far better to allow ourselves to be his tool for those things because of the blessings we will get from it.

Our relationship is not about showing enough faith to change God's mind all the time. It's about his plan being in place--for us and those around us--and us trying to find our role in that plan because that plan is the best plan for us and that plan provides the most blessings. And by blessings, I don't think we can compare ourselves to others and see who is more faithful and who is more in God's will. We can only measure it against what we would be like without him.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2

Give yourself to God and let him change you instead of letting the world determine who you are. Let him change you from the inside-out. And you will see his perfect will at work in your life. The closer you are to him, the less you let sin control you, the more you are in line with that perfect will. The will...the plan...is already perfect and doesn't need to change by our desires or faith. We just need to continually find it and stay in line with it.

cuttin' again

well, most have heard that Isha got a clean bill of health at the doctor, but as a precaution, the doctor is going to cut a little more off the edges of where the last chuck was he took out of her back in two weeks. Since this one is already clean maybe we can keep it this time!

i just called to say...

My dad calls me to tell me the dumbest little things sometimes, like "i just bought new wiper blades for the car" or something like that...and he's serious! Well, for my own humor, I return the favor by telling him the same kind of stuff. The other day, I called him to tell him that I bought 2 new tires for my truck. Before I could get it out, he informed that he had just bought a brand new pecan cracker. He said, "It cost $9...I think it's gonna be a good one." I just couldn't top that...

Who do you look up to?

Have you ever found yourself intrigued and in awe of someone? Perhaps it was a celebrity? Well, that's not exactly what I'm talking about. The best way to describe it is seeing someone who you want to become. We can be in awe of celebrities, but when I see a celebrity somewhere, it isn't really about them. It simply becomes a story i get to tell. I've seen some actors in Aspen skiing, some Christian singers at conferences, etc. I was there, and it was neat to see them, but the only thing I really got out of it was a story to tell.

This isn't what I'm talking about here. A better example of what I mean is for a medical student to meet a famous doctor that wrote a book about the field of study they are wanting to get into. This is where you are not in awe of them being famous, but you admire them for who they are and want to be like them or where they are. You find yourself with them and asking them a 100 questions. You just want to know the key to being who they are, where they are in a career, or in life.

As God humbles you, you will see the need for more of that. I have more and more people that I admire all the time. Amazingly, some of the ones I admire also seem to appreciate certain things about me. I believe this is the body of Christ at work. As I see humble, God-seeking people live their lives, I notice things in their lives that I admire. I want to be around them. I want to see what makes that area strong. Sometimes, I just want to sit down with them and a pen and pad and just interview them. What can or could I have done better? How did God show you that? Yet, something I might be good at seems so natural for me and not something to admire.

I admire people who think of ways to be a blessing to people. I admire people who are just self-less and easy to get along with. I admire people who have strong convictions and let those convictions mature, but don't compromise them for their own interest. I admire the guy who works hard for his family and doesn't use 'man of the house' to have a king persona. I admire people who surrender their own desires and become missionaries in other countries. I admire the couples that work as a team on everything. I admire the women who find their place in ministry in the world and at home at the same time. I admire people who can constantly put other people's desires and problems ahead of their own. I admire people who can walk past the same temptations I seem to struggle with all the time. I admire people who expose their faults and weaknesses and failures to me to help me be stronger and not make the same mistake. I admire people who have any of these things and act like its no big deal they are like that.

Cowboys Week 7

Well, although it wasn't an impressive win, it was a win. And, I believe this Vikings team is better than their 2-4 record shows. They have a very good defense that forced some turnovers, but the Cowboys defense responded. Green played pretty well in Henry's absence again. He's started nearly every game...first for Newman, and now for Henry and seems to be playing good enough to not stand out as a target to pick on. Of course, with how little Minnesota throws, this isn't a week to measure him. I'm glad to see us grab a win and get into the bye week and let some people get healthy. Romo seemed to play through the hammy ok, but it was very noticable with his running style...and there were few, if any, rollouts called after that...which are his best plays. Owens got a 103 yrd, 1 TD day, and that was very important to keep him calm and quiet during the bye week. In a close game, Barber got twice the carries Jones did, so they are seeing who the better back is. Enjoy the BYE!

Stats of the week: Ellis, 2 sacks (glad he's back to form) Jackson 6/19 for 72 yds. (4 of the 6 completions went to RBs, so the Dallas secondary only gave up 2 catches all day including time in the prevent to end the game)

Basketball

Well, it's time to get ready for basketball. This is going to be a pretty busy season as well. I'll be coaching Alisha's 4th grade Lady Cats team and Drew's 2nd grade Wildcats team. The Lady Cats are coming off of an undefeated season and back-to-back championships. The Wildcats played their first season together at the Y last year and finished 8-1 for first place.

This season will be pretty busy because I'm going to be reffing as well...to help Bryan out and grab a little vacation money for this summer. I'll probably be riding in with him early on Saturdays and reffing until time to coach my two teams later in the day. Well, at least my teams know they won't have any early games!

...time to work with Drew on his wicked crossover...the only move I have to pass on!

Secondhand Relationships

There are things that everyone needs: direction, purpose, hope, etc.And there are things that different people need based on their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses: support, encouragement, a plan, a shoulder to cry on, a kick in the rear, etc.

God knows us better than anyone. I love my wife, and she amazes me at times with how she knows me and what I need when...even when I don't even know. But, there is only one person that is going to be right about that 100% of the time, and that's God. And He will provide it when we ask for it and when its time for us to need it.

If that's true, then why are there so many people out there without direction and purpose and in need of support and such?...even those that know God? Well, what kind of relationship do they have with him? Is it a personal relationship where they talk to him everyday, or is it a secondhand relationship where they here about him from other people? God can speak to us directly thru other people, don't get me wrong, but if our entire relationship with him is based on what we get from others, we won't ever get what we need. God cannot work in our lives as a "friend of a friend"...he needs to be your friend. Our relationship with him cannot simply be based on listening to preaching, teaching, and what others say about him. It cannot be just about what we've learned about him in the past or past times we were close to him. It is about what time did you have with him face-to-face today, this week.

If your needs are now...and they are...then the time with God, the relationship, needs to be now. If your needs are personal and specific to you...and they are...then the relationship you have needs to be personal and specific to you.

This blog is to me, but if helps you, then that's cool too...

Cowboys Week 6

Well...just as i said, our secondary is in no shape to match up to the Patriots right now. I was glad to see us with the lead in the 3rd, but i never had confidence that we could pull it off at this time. There's a lot that can happen with both teams between now and the playoffs. Here are the major differences between us and the Patriots right now:

Romo doesn't have the experience Brady does, but his experience does double between now the playoffs.
Our secondary is hurt with a starting corner out and one just returning not 100%. There is time to get healthy before the playoffs.
Our coaches aren't what Billichik is, but with Garrett on OC and hopefully Phillips as HC overseeing the defense, we will be getting better.

All these things can get better for us by the playoffs, and with the road to a championship being all about one game matchups, anything can happen. What could be better than for the Patriots to go undefeated and then lose the Super Bowl to the Cowboys...that would be great...I'm not callin' Vegas on it or anything, but I'll be rootin' for it. And there's still the Colts to not overlook in the mix.

Stats of the week:
Brady 31/46 for 388 yds, 5 TDs, 0 INTS; 75 total rushing yrds for NE; didn't take brain surgery to figure this out, but I told anyone who asked, "everyone says New England is only about .500 when Brady throws more than 40 passes, so the game plan must be to take away the run...we can do that, but I just don't think our secondary is healthy enough to stop Brady after that"...hated to be right...

Next up...Adrian Peterson, who ran all over the Bears' D...should rebound for an win and get into the bye for some R&R...

Cowboys Week 5

Well, there's nothing more to be said about the amazing finish of the game. The Cowboys looked horrible all game, but they did what it took to beat a weaker team on the road, so that's what counts for now. Coming up next is a home showdown with the high powered New England Patriots. I'm glad we did what we needed to do this week and saw some areas to improve on before this next week's game. Here's the key to beating Tom Brady and the Patriots: We must first stop the run and force Brady to throw the ball. He is not nearly as good when he throws 40 or more passes in a game. Then, our secondary has to do their job. Well, it isn't looking good there. We already know what the concerns are with Roy Williams in coverage. Hamlin is more of a strong safety himself too, so that isn't the best for us. Newman is ack, but we saw him get caught from behind on that interception return Monday night. And now, we don't know if Henry is going to get back or not for this week.

I'd love to go out and win this thing, but it looks like we don't have the healthy personnel for it, so we may let it go and hope to meet them again in the Super Bowl. But this is the NFL, and anything can happen, so let's hope for a miracle.

Let's not forget, we need to get TO more involved, and note that he was robbed on that force-out. His freakin' outside foot was inbounds, so why would they assume he wouldn't get the inside foot down if he hadn't been pushed...stinkin' refs!

Stats of the week: Nick Folk 1 xp, 4/4 FGs (47, 29, 37, 53) including the career long for the game-winner...twice...that's my fantasy stud!

Romo 29/50, 309 yds, 2 TDs, 5 INTs, 1 F...as people compare Romo to Favre, we must remember that by the end of the season, Favre will own the all-time TD record and the all-time INT record...it all comes with the territory of that style of play, so don't throw him under the bus...we knew what we were getting...and he'll be fine.

Ashamed

I bring this up all the time and I know others do too, but I just felt the need to blog about it a little today. I'm not sure exactly how the Holy Spirit is meant to work in us, and I'm not even sure he's meant to work the same way in each of us. However, I don't think he changes with time, so if I look at how he worked in me in the past and don't see that in younger generations, it bothers me. I don't want to be judgmental, but a "tree is known by its fruit."

When my parents moved me from all my friends in Ft. Worth right before my junior year, I became very rebellious. I bounced back and forth for those last two years of school on how I lived. After I graduated, I totally rebelled for a year. It seemed like much longer, but I did not attend church and was involved in a lot of sin. However, through those three years, I always knew what I was doing was wrong. My number one goal in all of it was to hide it. I didn't want to do anything that I couldn't hide from my parents and my friends' parents who were Christians. Now, I know I was hiding nothing from God, and I know that's the most important thing, but the look of guilt and conviction was all over my actions. I was guilty and I knew it.

Today, it seems like people don't have a problem with letting the world know what they do and how they act. They post it all over their myspace in the form of pics, comments, and blogs. They don't care who sees it and they don't even make their pages private in fear that their own parents might look it up. wow. When a person pleads guilty to a crime by reason of insanity or mental defeciency, they can only prove that by showing they didn't think what they did was wrong because they did nothing to hide it. I knew I was guilty, and I didn't want people to know about it. What does it say about those who don't try to hide it? Where is the Holy Spirit in their lives? Is there a new level of spiritual complacency or is the Holy Spirit not even in them? Did they answer a call to invite Jesus into their hearts, but fell short of "making it real" by not truly giving their lives to Christ by way of inviting the Spirit in? Or am I just being too judgmental about God's place in their lives?

That year after high school was the longest year of my life. I have so many scars and hauntings from it that I deal with to this day. I cannot imagine doubling it, tripling it, or more. So, my question is this...If these people were in the garden with Adam and Eve, would they even have put on a freakin leaf after eating the fruit? I have no doubt how I would have been ashamed and wearing the fashionable 100% leaf briefs. idk...maybe I'm being self-righteous...

Cowboys Week 4

OK, looks like the Cowboys are foreal! Although, a game against the Rams should give too much information, the dominance they showed tells a lot.

The running game looked good. Barber has gotten increasingly more carries over Jones until yesterday, but that was probably just due to the Cowboys being so far ahead. On the year, Jones has 51 carries for 176 yards and Barber has 48 for 306 yards. Sounds repetitive, but Barber is a good back...just not a full-time back and Jones is not a good compliment. He's the right style of compliment, so it's working for now, but he's just not good enough. However, the Cowboys rank 4th in rushing yards on the season with the help of Romo's 71 yards and poor starts by some of the league's top backs.

It was great to see Crayton have a big game-especially looking like a speedster that we weren't suppose to have with Glenn out. Glenn doesn't need to worry about his job yet, but this gives the team confidence to wait until he's really healthy and will stay that way for a playoff and Super Bowl run. The team has to keep TO (33 yds.) happy though. And, he does deserve credit as the Rams double-teamed him and sent linebackers and safeties following him all day which left witten, crayton, and the backs open.

We are 2nd in offense and points, 7th in defense and 11th in points against, so we aren't just too one-sided. We still need to get the secondary healthy, and it was good to hear Hamlin's name more. It was also good to see Ellis back in action which really gives us some depth with the young guys playing so well.

There is a little concern still about the special teams. Folk didn't have to attempt a FG yesterday, and we gave up a punt return for a TD. Romo or not, it was our special teams that knocked us out of the playoffs last season, so we don't need to overlook them and let the little mistakes continue.

Stats of the week: Greg Ellis - 1.5 sacks; Crayton - 7 catches, 184 yds, 2 TDsDepth, baby, depth!

Think about what you think about

Last night, I watched the movie "Click" with Isha, we had our devotional together, and then stumbled onto this quote from one of her old blogs:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!

Our devotional (Joyce Meyer: Battlefield of the Mind Devotional: 100 Insights That Will Change the Way You Think) was all about how your thoughts determine your future and how bad thoughts can lead to failures and misery. And, of course, "Click" is a comedy about a guy that focuses on the wrong things and misses life because of it. This is an area that I sometimes struggle with. I can be very pessimistic and I tend to be miserable with defeat to the point that i'm only slightly satisfied with victory or success. When things go bad, I'm miserable, and when they go good I barely enjoy it.

I love the life that God has given me. I never know what direction it will go, but I don't want to worry about the future at the cost of enjoying the now.

I love my kids, and I am tore up that they are nearly halfway through their time at home and well into the age of remembering everything from that goes on. They can both be difficult at times, but I am so selfish with my time and energy around the house. tonight, we are having family time instead of going to the varsity game. I hope this is the beginning of a better relationship for us as a family.

I love my wife. She is the greatest...people see it, but I've got the best seat in the house, so no one knows like I do. I fail her all the time. I am so ready to take on anything God has for me with her by my side. I can only be happy when she's happy, and I can't help but be sad when she's sad. I can't sleep without her foot touching my leg...seriously. I just wish in my successful quest to find the perfect wife, I'd have spent more time preparing to be the kind of husband that wife needed.

My family is a constant reminder that my relationship to God must stay firm. I cannot be what they need without Him, and every shortcoming in my attempt to be a good father and husband is when I try to do it on my own.

Okay, that wasn't even what I began to blog about, but guess I needed to get that out too. Anyway, I want God to control my thoughts and desires. When I think I'm unhappy, I think I need something more. When that happens I feed a desire for more than what God has for me and has given me. My life is not perfect, but it is perfectly covered in His grace, so I need to quit worrying about every little imperfection and live for Him. My desire is to take care of what God has blessed me with and seek His will for my life--and the lives of my family that He has entrusted to me.

I hope anyone that reads this that finds themselves unhappy can know that true happiness is found only in the will of God, and that will is found through prayer, His Word, church, and godly wisdom from those you know can serve as a mouthpiece of God to you. And don't let Satan, that sorry thief, rob you of the life God promises by putting lies, worries, and hurts into your thoughts!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL." - John 10:10

Cowboys Week 3

Ok, week 3 is in the books. There are still some question marks, but there are some answers too. This offense is the real deal. They laid 34 points on perhaps the stinkiest defense in the league. Romo is for real and TO and Witten are having Pro Bowl seasons. I hope Crayton gets back healthy and in a groove soon. The big concerns for this offense right now are Julius Jones and that 2 receiver spot.

Julius is just not a good back. It appears that we have 2 third down backs. I agree we have to just keep doing what we're doing because we are winning right now. I don't think starting Barber is the answer. I like him coming in fresh and running over people hard. But, Jones is not the starting answer either. I also don't know if we can go all the way with this running back situation. We can make it through the NFC perhaps, but not win a Super Bowl until we can establish the run in the opening series of a game.

Also, there is still a void with Terry Glenn out. We aren't sure if he'll be back at all this season, but we sure do need his presence. If we are going to be in games against New England (in two weeks), we need all of our weapons, and it is looking bleak for Glenn to return anytime soon.
The Cowboys defense basically had a by this week. At least its another week to get healthy. St. Louis is next week, and they are bad, but still have a lot of offensive weapons, and then we have New England. The defense is getting better though...let's just hope it holds true to the games against better offenses.

The Skins lost to the Giants, so the NFC East is already beginning to get jumbled. I don't know if there is another conference where the underdog wins more games than the NFC East. And Philly looked dominant in their ugly throwback jersey win.

Stat of the week: Barber 15 carries, 102 yds, 1 TD when the Bears gave up only 16 carries for 55 yds to Larry Johnson and 17 carries for 25 yds to LaDainian Tomlinson who are suppose to be the top 2 backs in the league.

Frappuccino Delivery

ok, i usually handle situations pretty good and can think quick on my feet, but sometimes i have a real bonehead day and it is usually when the city-boy comes out in me really bad. i have very little country sense--mechanics, being handy, etc. well, i was in wichita yesterday and decided i would swing by starbucks and surprise isha by bringing her a frappuccino...i had them double cup it because i knew i had about a 25 minute drive back to her.

well, i get about 8 miles from archer city and the road is shut down because of a wreck. they say its going to be about an hour. well, i'm sitting there with a cold frappuccino that needed to be delivered quickly, so i turn around and begin to look for a short cut around it. i get on a dirt road and figure as long as i keep turning left i'll eventually get back to the highway or to archer. well, i hit a familiar dirt road and think, great i know this goes there. but, i came to a fork in the dirt road. i took the left fork because, again, i'm trying to keep going south. the roads were pretty muddy, and i've let my back tires get pretty bald. so, as i came up to large stretches of mud and water, i had to drive faster to make it through it. the road i was going down began to get smaller and appear less traveled. i began to worry that i needed to go back. however, i had gone through so many mud holes and long stretches of mud that i wanted to keep going and hope this small road hit the highway at some point. finally, the road almost disappeared and i knew i had to turn around. i tried to find the largest dry area i could to turn around. well, it didn't matter because sure enough i got stuck. as i tried to get out, my truck began to overheat and i stopped. my belt had broken. this was bad news as i knew enough to know this was the only belt and it ran everything so there was nothing to keep the water pump running to cool now.

i climbed out and looked around to try to see where i was. yeah, i had no idea and the lack of tracks on the scarce road let me know help wouldn't be by anytime soon. i could see some powerlines, across the field, so i thought the highway might be close. i looked and saw the top of a rest area that i knew was only a couple of miles from archer, so i started walking down the road further to see if it hit the highway soon. about a mile down, the road was so muddy, i knew i couldn't get through, so i went back to see if the truck had cooled. it had, so i dug out under the tires and put some limbs i had broken off a tree to give me traction. did i mention i'm in jeans and flip flops? yeah, perfect. well, i got the truck out, and stopped for a minute because it was already really hot again. i knew i was going to have to drive fast through the muddy areas again to make out, and that would heat the truck up pretty bad. i started out and nearly got stuck several more times, but finally made it past the mud and to the original fork. i sat and let the truck cool again and started out from there. where i finally hit the highway was about 15 miles from archer, but i left the hood cracked open and the air kept the engine cool until i got to town...exactly 1 hour and 40 minutes after i turned around at the wreck.

yeah, i don't deserve a truck...i should be driving a dodge stratus...oh, and what about the frappuccino? i had poured it on the engine to help cool it off...

Cowboys Week 2

Well, the Boys did take care of business on Sunday...finally. They let the Dolphins hang around way too long though. We still don't know how good this team is considering the two teams they beat have also been beatin by Washington and Green Bay and are a combined 0-4, so there's no reason to jump on the Super Bowl bandwagon just yet. The team had 4 picks without Newman in there, but I swear Trent Green had a concussion relapse out there, but I was pleased nonetheless. Jones started off in a way that made me think I was gonna have to eat my words from last week, but finished with only 32 yds on 15 carries, so my feelings on him remain the same. I'm glad he's there to allow Barber to come in fresh and run over people, but I'd take pretty much anyone in the league there and be just as good. Romo wasn't spectacular with less than a 50% completion rating but with 2 TDs and no picks, I'll take it in a victory. Folk continues to hold his own with 4 XPs and 3 FGs with a long of 47 yds. And most of all, I loved Romo's attempt to get TO the ball early even if that cost him on his completion percentage some. Keep showing TO love! If he could get that Philly team to the Super Bowl three years ago, then we have a shot with him as well. Next week will be a much better test for us as our offense (the highest scoring since 1971 in the first two games - thanks Josh) takes on the Bears 'D' and the defense gets another weak offense lead by Grossman to buy time to get healthy again.

Good Stat of the week: Secondary combines for 4 INTS (Hamlin, Williams, Henry-2)

Bad Stat of the week: Only 2 sacks of an aging Trent Green that attempted 40 passes behind a line that only blocked good enough to gain 61 yds rushing on 21 carries...we need more pressure than that!

Cowboys Week 1

Ok, so i am no football expert and don't really have the credentials to comment on the Cowboys beyond the water cooler, but this is my page, so...

Do we have reason to worry after Sunday night's game against the Giants? I say we do a little. My primary concern is the secondary. On the upside, Newman will come back and help. Maybe we will get better production out of Hamlin as advertised, but Sunday night all I heard from him was a personal foul penalty. The secondary will only get better if they can learn to compensate for Roy Williams's inability to cover. They could use him in a prevent kind of way and let him always play behind the receivers and simply light them up as or after they catch the ball and see if he can cause drops, fumbles, or unconsciousness. Or, they simply need to feed him a biscuit and call him a linebacker. My other concern is the running game. I do like Barber and he runs really hard, but he is not an all-time back and i'm not sure Jones is a good compliment. Does anyone else still cringe to see Dallas traded down when Steven Jackson fell to them? I honestly think that was a worse move than passing on Moss. Romo did prove he's passed the botched snap. The passing game will go far as long as we love on TO and embrace him while totally ignoring anything dumb he says. They don't need to do much more than quietly make sure he has the proper type of people around him. We will be even better if Glenn can come back, but we are fine as is too. The defense has to get more pressure on the quaterback to help the secondary out. I hope the rookie kicker handles the pressure, but we won't know till its too late so hold your breath. All in all, it was an ugly win against a bad team in disarray before they were hit with injuries and we have as many question marks as we did before the game. I don't think Wade Phillips did anything to deserve another head coaching gig, but we've got him and it was time to move Parcells on and get a coach in that players want to play for. TO was more valuable to us than Parcells. Washington beat Miami, so I'm not sure we'll learn much more from this game unless we lose, and that is bad news. We need to at least just go out and take care of business with a smooth easy win.

standing on your own

when i was 7 or 8 years old, i spent weeks at a time of the summer at my grandma's house in vernon. my uncle was 15-16 at the time. he hung out with me the whole time, and i had no idea at the time what a sacrifice that was, but that's another blog for another time. his neighborhood friends (mostly a year or two younger than him) would pick on me all the time. i'm sure it was partially out of frustration of me always being around. my uncle was very protective of me and i soon realized that i could do whatever i wanted because he would not tell on me and he would protect me no matter what. as a child, i quickly took advantage of that. if anyone began to pick on me, i just stood right up to them and was even willing to immediately start throwing punches. no, i didn't think i could take them on 1-on-1, but i knew my uncle would step in and not let them hurt me.

i'm sure that was a tiring relationship for my uncle during those times. he probably thought i really just had a crazed temper and would just do something as stupid as standing up to these older guys when really i only did so because he was there to protect me. i take a lot of pride now in not relying on other people for things. oh, i have no desire to live alone and be without my family and friends. i have a hard time sleeping in an empty house or even an empty bed. but, i never want to take on problems that i expect my family and friends to have to help carry the burden for me. i think there are enough things i need help with in life that i don't need to be putting them on myself.

i try to not take on risks that would effect my family and friends around me. that is really the issue. most people, but not all, don't intentionally bring problems onto themselves and force their friends and loved ones to help with the burden. however, they do take risks that lead to those problems and burdens. we, as Christians, need to be more careful in the risks we take--and how careful we are relates directly to how willing we are to place those burdens on others. if you have someone in your life that continues to be a crutch for you...that bails you out, picks you up, and puts up with more than most people would, you need to evaluate the amount of risk you take that puts them in that position. they love you and want to be there for you, but you abuse that relationship when you do things to please yourself that increase the risk that they'll have to shoulder the burden of your consequences. so don't be risky when it comes to what you volunteer and commit to, the friends you choose that could burn you, your financial dealings and handlings, your forms of entertainment, and even the moods you carry and the words you say.

k, sorry to get so dr. phil on ya...

quality friendships

as a busy society, we have begun to put more and more value on time. i know with my busy schedule, i'd love to have an 8-day week. the problem is that we focus on quantity instead of quality. we will never have more of it, so what we should focus on is the quality of the time we do spend on things.

the same can be said of friendships. we need to focus our efforts with friends on the quality of those friendships and not the quanity. Proverbs 13:20 says, "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." as adults, we teach our kids to choose their friends wisely, but we don't always do the same. this passage shows the difference in having friendships with "the wise" versus "fools." the difference in those two should be obvious, but we are drawn to fools all the time. we devalue what we look for in a friendship. "being around and available" is a false sign of a good friend. you see, they may very well be around because people don't want to be their friend for a reason. they may very well not have friends because they are not a friend themselves. try hanging out with Satan...i'm sure he's available and around for you. that alone does not make a friend. another false sign is that they make you feel good...well, so do drugs, but it's not the kind of "feel good" we need. these aren't bad qualities, but they do not make a friendship, so quit looking for easy and available because it could lead to trouble.

there is greater danger to these types of friendships than simply, "oops, well they weren't a very good friend after all." as this passage states, "a companion of fools suffers harm." notice it doesn't even state that the fool suffers harm, but simply the companion? deep down fools hate their lives, and usually will complain about them all the time. they are always "cheated" but they do nothing to help themselves change it. and you can see it easily as you give them sound advice that they refuse to take. well, those people have nothing to lose. while we think we can help them, and we try to keep the friendship shallow, we will get sucked into their world. and in their world, they have nothing to lose, so they have no problem bringing you down with them or knocking you down to benefit themselves. they don't like themselves, and they still put themselves first...so where does that leave you on their list of priorities and loyalties? very low... watch how they treat their enemies and realize becoming a friend with a fool can easily lead to becoming an enemy. watch as they step on people around them to get higher, and know that being around them can lead to you becoming a "step." watch how they are friendly to people and listen to what they say about them when they walk away because they probably do the same to you.

Proverbs 26:4-11, "do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. like cutting off one's feet or drinking violence is the sending of a message by the hand of a fool. like a lame man's leggs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool. like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passer-by. as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

"Friends are not like books, there aren't good ones and bad ones...they either are one or they aren't."

the blame game

It would be easy to think Joseph could sit back and blame so many things for the problems he had. I mean, his brothers plotted to kill him and sold him as a slave. He works his way back into prominence and his boss's wife lies and accuses him of sexually attacking her. Then, the guy in prison with him forgot his promise to him for a long time. Yes, he finally got through all that and had a happy ending. However, something I think we need to figure with this story is that, like all men, Joseph was not without sin. We don't have the details, but we can see that perhaps some of his problem was arrogance. Although things happened to him that he did not deserve, perhaps his arrogance was something that fueled those who went against him.

In all, what I'm saying is that there will always be things that happen to us that is not a direct result of our own sin, but that does not give us the right to blame anyone. Our sin is the root reason for our suffering and even others at time. God is in control and has the authority and power to protect us from consequences of sin...whether our sins or someone else's. So, if you feel like you are suffering from a consequence of someone else's sin, know that God is in control and your suffering is either ultimately a result of your own sin or a test of fire by which he wants to make you stronger. Either way, you miss the point playing the blame game.

Get up, be strong, pray for the answer, garner support from your Christian brothers and sisters (support, not sympathy), and find His purpose in it all. We are living in enemy territory in this spiritual battle and must be prepared for suffering. Suffering only equals defeat if we let it. Although I hate this world, I love my life and the things in it God has entrusted to me. I can only hope I honor Him in how I manage it. Fall in love with the life God has given you, invest in those around you, and live it in a way to later on present it to him as a gift.

be a quitter

There is nothing more selfish than self pity. There is nothing more dangerous than to surround yourself with "whoa is me!" people. I'm sorry and I know am in this position to serve the needy, but i get really tired of people that feel sorry for themselves and their goal is to make others feel sorry for them too, so they can feel justified in their feelings and lack of motivation. for those who get discouraged all the time and want to quit, here's a quit list for you:
1. Quit looking at successful people and assuming the only difference in you and them is that they caught all the breaks. Most of them made the breaks happen.
2. Quit wanting to be something you're not and can't be. Contrary to the saying, you can't do anything you put your mind to, so start figuring out what you are capable of doing and do that.
3. Quit wanting what other people have. You can have what they have and that still does not make you them.
4. Quit looking for the easy way. God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden and said the easy way is gone.
5. Quit smoking, drinking, and any drugs you might do. Yeah, it's just pretty much stupid and costs a lot of money.
6. Quit wasting. Don't waste money. Don't waste time. Don't waste energy. Don't waste talent. Don't waste opportunities. And, don't waste those same things that belong to other people...that's even worse.
7. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You live in America. You have a better chance of a good life than anyone in the world.
8. Quit hurting other people to make yourself feel better. God is watching and what goes around, comes around. There is no success in that path.
9. Quit cycling. Success is measured by where you are now compared to where you were. If you let yourself go in circles, you'll never get anywhere.
10. And other than this list, quit quitting. Everyone has failures. Some people just look like everything they do succeeds but it looks like that because they didn't quit in the past.
But seriously, there is one sure way to fail...quit on God because nothing you achieve outside of him will ever mean anything. He owns us, and if you have anything that he doesn't own, then you don't really have it. Does he own your possessions? Does he own your friends? Does he own your marriage? Does he own your kids? So quit trying stuff without him and wondering why you fail...

to lose my life

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lost it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:37-39
"Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of God." - Galatians 1:10
"...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you..." - Matthew 28:19-20
These verses have given me a message this week. The thing I am most guilty of all my adult life is not allowing God to control my life. I am truly committed to living a godly life. I also have the added accountability in that of being on church staff. Because I know i want to do right, I allow myself to take control of my life and the things in it instead of God. And wow, everytime I do I get in a huge mess--sometimes a worse mess than if I was just living in sin, I think. That in itself is a scary realization. I see so many people that are trying to do the right thing, but they try to do it as they control their life. They get into mess after mess, so they finally just give into a life of sin because they don't see the difference that God can make. We don't see it unless we actually do give Him control rather than just "doing the right things."
These verses say that very thing. God better be number 1. He has to be before everything and everyone, and we have to push our selfish nature and what we think we want out of life and for our life aside and let him give us what He knows we need. Everytime we do that, we will find greater happiness and joy than if we'd gotten what we initially thought we wanted. We have to seek God's approval instead of what other people want. Is God pleased with who I am? That's all that matters.
When I control my life, I work strictly on the appearance. That leaves me with several problems. Our heart is where most of our sin takes place, so I'm neglecting the area God needs control of most. Also, my actions away from my normal life suffer. If you took the times in my life away from people I know, away from my wife and family and friends...those times would show me to be a dispicable person. I'm referring to times on the phone with some customer service rep, times on vacation, times shopping or something alone, etc. I have used those times to choose to not control my anger, to blend in with world, to stand out as something other than a Christian. I have seen the neglect in those areas have consequences that affect all areas. I'm no scholar, but I know that the Greek verb for "Go" in the great commission actually means "as you go" and "while you are going." I should be carrying the light wherever I go whether I have the accountability of people I know, friends, family, or my wife. God is always there to know what I do and why I do it.
My prayer is that God control all of my life. I don't want to spend time trying to make it "look" good when looks don't matter in much of anything. I want to commit to Isha to be a faithful and excellent husband in her presence and not. I want to commit to my kids to be a good dad in their presence and not. I want to commit to my church to be a righteous employee and member around this community and not. And most of all, I want to commit to God to be a godly man because there is no "and not" to being in His presence
Take a sec and go listen to and read the words to 'Fame' by Rush of Fools.

how i know my friends

i know my friends because:
1. they always answer my calls or texts (at their normal average response time anyway)
2. they love my wife and kids as much or more than they do me
3. they hollar at me to make plans with them
4. they always allow me to put God and my family first
5. they help me carry burdens that i can't carry myself, and drop everything for me because they know i wouldn't ask them to unless i really needed it
6. they fight me for the check at dinner, and they always try to make me owe them more favors than they owe me
7. they listen and listen and listen because they know i usually work it out on my own...i just need someone there to say it all out loud to
8. they can sense my mood and what i need even over the phone
9. they find the best in me, pull it out of me, and then compliment me on it
10. it doesn't take much planning to have fun with them, and when the plans go awry, the fun really begins
this comes not from a list of "what a friend should be" but from my experiences and relationships with my true friends...thanks a million because i wouldn't make it through life without you!

bachin' it

yep, i'm bachin it this week...although that it is bachin' it as a single parent of two, so not nearly as fun. i don't have much insight on anything for now. i've been teaching our adult 1 SS class this month as our teacher moved to Wichita and is finding a church there. We have a replacement, but i'm assuming he'll start in August as he and his wife are finishing up a children's ministry they are involved in.

also, i am working on a new program for Wendesday nites for children in 1st-6th grade. yes, after years and years, we are stepping out and dropping RAs and GAs. it only makes since though. there were several problems with the RA and GA material and programs. it was not the workers though. we have a great group of workers in that area that have grown the program in numbers. however, the true material of RAs is like Boy Scouts, and it is practically impossible for new kids or "hit and miss" kids to get in the swing of it because some guys would be so far ahead all the time. I like doing ministry with a "Law & Order" angle where each week is good, but it begins and ends, and you can jump in the next week without missing anything. We are going to do what we call 'G-TIME' which stands for God Time - Guy Time - Girl Time. We are going to meet in the sanctuary altogether for a time of worship (God Time) that Isha and I are in charge of for the first 30 minutes, and then they will go to Guy Time - Girl Time which will be similar to their classes now for the last 30 minutes where they will have options of using the gym, playing outside, working on mission projects, etc. i'm very excited and can't wait till we kick it off when school starts.

anyway, just feeling excited about some things at work...

BETTER OFF ROCK'D

Isha and I went to a concert last nite that included Stephen Speaks, Nevertheless, Everday Sunday, and Seventh Day Slumber. I need to throw out some cheers and jeers on the event:

1. to the large dude in all black with long black hair that came and sat next to me, cheers for not murdering me by shoving a jagged sirenge in my neck, but jeers that you made me move and cleared out the entire section by making out with your woman.

2. to the drummer of Nevertheless that was fat and in his forties, hairy with a black tank on, and long curly black hair and a beard, cheers for not conforming to the skinny, tight shirt, girl jeans, long punk bangs look of the other members. keeping being your own man.

3. jeers to the bouncer guys that looked like they should be picking up trash on the side of the road in orange jumpsuits and shackles...very scary.

4. jeers to the girl next to me that heard the lead singer say, "this song is about getting hurt and then closing yourself up to the world" and proclaimed that "this song si so about me"...if you were closing yourself up to the world, you would not be saying that you're closing yourself up to the world.

5. jeers to the smell in there.

6. cheers to those that didn't fit into the three major groups represented: the church kids, the rockers, and the old rockers...yeah, we didn't fit, so cheers to us...lol

7. jeers to the church girls that stood in the back with their arms crossed grinning the whole time because they didn't know what else to do...we know you went home and blogged that you went crazy at the concert.

8. jeers to the skimpy-dressed women in the place that wanted me to lust cause it didn't work...i was with the hottest girl in the room and she was simply wearing jeans and a t-shirt...except at that remote parking lot.

9. cheers to the bands for making me "better off rock'd"!

the pharisee

you can do what a great husband does, or you can be a great husband.
you can do what a great wife does, or you can be a great wife.
you can do what a great friend does, or you can be a great friend.
you can do what a great parent does, or you can be a great parent.
you can do what a great worker does, or you can be a great worker.
you can do what a great Christian should do, or you can be a great Christian.

you can do the right thing and you'll be right, or you can be the right thing and help make everyone else alright.

God looks at the heart...not what we do, so do your "housecleaning" from the inside-out

a new career

i've got a new career i want to try to sell you on. here's the deal with it. you will spend at least 90% of your time learning how to do it, and maybe 10% of your time actually doing it. so, let's say with most things, you spend 5 years in college, then 45 years doing it. well, with this career, you'll spend 45 years in college, then 5 years doing it. doesn't sound appealing? well, how would you like that to be your career and how would you like to be a spokesman or recruiter for that career? oh, this does exist in our world. we call it church. we spend at least 90% of our time learning to do the work of God, but we'd be pushing it to say we actually even do the work we learn about 10% of the time. no wonder it isn't appealing to people. the appeal of the gospel should come from seeing us live it and reach out with more than a lesson or Bible study. people have to see Jesus in us and not just rolling off our lips.

count the cost or increase the value

The Bible says to us, we should always count the cost. i think too many times, we misinterpret that phrase by looking strictly at the 'cost'-what we pay. 'count the cost' actually means to weigh the price or cost against the value to you of that item. it may cost everyone the same, but if the value is more to you than others, you are getting more and willing to "pay" more. the other thing that we sometimes don't take into account is that the value can change, and usually we have the power to change it--specifically by increasing it as we invest in it or even devaluing it as we abuse it.

this may sound like a lot of babbling nonsense until you realize that i'm talking about the people we love. the 'cost' of our loved ones is sharing their burdens, hardships, troubles, and personality 'quirks'. the value is what they mean to us, what we get in return, and how we love them and need them. the cost can change as things in their lives change, but as we invest in them, the value they have to us can continually increase. we invest different amounts to different ones--hopefully, the biggest investment is going to your spouse. as their value increases, the cost begins to not matter because it will never catch up to the value they hold for you. most romantic movies show two people in love with one or both enduring a high "cost" for other, and that makes us cry at how much they love each other. that is not just a movie thing...it's achieved by increasing the value that your loved one has to you to where the cost is irrelevant.

christ put that kind of value on us...and the cost was very high, but he paid it for us because he loved us, and that is our example. "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25). your friendships become lasting when the value of that friend continues to increase. your marriage stays strong when the value of your spouse continues to increase--and it becomes beautiful when the cost becomes irrelevant.

take-and-take-and-take

ever notice how so many elementary age kids will pour their energy into trying to be friends with certain people (usually popular kids) and get very little in return? yeah...usually, they get "crapped" on in return, but yet they continue to pour that energy into it instead of just giving up and moving on to a relationship that has a more balanced give-and-take. yeah, if you were one of those kids or saw others doing it, you can't help but think, "man, if i could just do that over, i'd so blow those people off and find friends that aren't so self-centered and 'taking'." well, the truth is, as adults we do the same thing, and i have no idea why. we can get "crapped" on by the same people over and over, yet we continue to go out of our way to seek their approval and make them happy. why do we do it? why can't we just decide it isn't worth it and do things for people that care? why can't we just put ourselves out for people that would do the same for us if we needed it? instead, we go out of our way and put ourselves out for people that will never acknowledge it. we give up time, money, and sometimes things that are very important to us (and not necessarily to them). yet, it only makes them expect more and more from us to keep them happy, and then they will complain about the one thing you don't do for them sometime. where do they even learn to live like the world revolves around them...like their problems are worse than anyone else's, to believe they are the most important person to themselves and you, and actually get you to act like it too? just shows how easily manipulated we are!

Rush of Fools

got a new CD and i'm lovin' it, so i thought i'd pass it on in case anyone else might like them. it's the best original praise and worship album i've heard in a while. (do they still call them albums or am i just old?) anyway, it's called Rush of Fools (the band and the album title). This CD is the most humbling music i think i've ever heard. if the band/writers really have this kind of heart, i'll bet they lead incredible worship. the first song "undo" is incredible as well as "fame." here are the words to those two:

undo
i've been here before / now, here i am again / i'm standing at the door praying you'll let me back in / to label me a prodigal would be only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be
turn me around, pick me up, undo what i've become / bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace / i need you, need your help, i can't do this myself / you're the only one who can undo what i've become
i focused on the score but i could never win / trying to ignore a life of hiding my sin / to label me a hypocrit would be only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be / make every step lead me back to the sovereign that you
turn me around, pick me up, undo what i've become / bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace / i need you, need your help, i can't do this myself / you're the only one who can undo what i've become

fame
I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead / I have failed at everything / I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King / I couldn't be any less worthy To spend one day much less forever with You
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control / I lift my voice, I have no choice / My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame
I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face / But I've seen Your Spirit move and Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room / I'm merely a product of mercy / The target and victim of Your perfect love
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control / I lift my voice, I have no choice / My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, spreading like a flame
Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name / You can't be contained and I'll never be the same

tennis and chess and old age

yeah, i played my first competitive set of tennis last night in at least three years, and i looked like a 50-yr-old man. i lost 1-6 and worst of all, i ignored exactly what i tell people is one of the most important tennis rules. it isn't about winning every point or even the most points--it's about winning the right points. in points, i really only lost 21-32...doesn't sound near as bad as 1-6, but it was because i didn't win the right points that made the game count so bad. it's like chess...you don't have to capture the most pieces to win necessarily. in tennis, you can actually win in points 34-30 and yet lose a set 4-6 because you didn't win the right points. and in my case, i was just shooting for a decent game count and didn't get it as i won 40% (21 of 53) of the points but only 14% (1 of 7) of the games. if i had won 40% of the games, it would have been a decent 4-6 loss. but maybe a bigger story was the lack of speed, choking on some easy shots, and weak serving i showcased with lack of competitive play in recent years, but also a rapidly aging body.

the weekend of nothing

well, just had a great weekend that sounds like totally nothing and boring when told or written out...but idc. i spent a total of about 14 hours driving, walked a dirt track behind a jewelry store and later by a river, went to the library and saw some guy looking up porn in front of everybody, watched a girlie movie i've seen more than once already. played Guitar Hero 1 & 2 and developed a strange uncontrollable twitch in my finger, worked out a little, ate wayyy too much, and met george washington. yeah, but i had the best company you can imagine who provided great conversation and fun, who bought me new clothes and a new watch, and who made me feel like i was the most important person in the world! anyway, i've got nothing profound...just wanted to share that.

thankfulness

ever feel the need to post something even though the creativity doesn't seem to be flowing? yeah, well, that's the case for me right now. i just want to thank the friends that i have around me for being there for me...beginning with my best friend, my wife, isha. i'm told i'm not an easy person to read or get close to. and actually, odds are that most people that know i consider them to be a friend, are higher on my friend list than they think because of that. there is simply only a handful that i really open up to, and usually even then, its out of desperation as a last resort. anyway, everything's great with my life right now. i do feel "bruised" from God workin me over, but that is only for the better. i feel stronger everyday, and i know a lot of that is due to friends saying, 'you have to let God have it'.

i know God has blessed me with the most beautiful wife that is perfect for me, and i only hope i continue to grow to be more and more the husband she needs. my kids challenge me everyday, but i see them outgrowing and overcoming traits that cursed me for years longer than them. God has priviledged me to have a job where i'm paid to do ministry and can even have the extra time to be a better husband and dad when i need it.

i met my grandparents for coffee yesterday, and they told me for the nth time how proud they are of me. they paid for my college, and say that they've spent less on me than any other kid or grandkid, but i did the most with it and it's an investment they are most proud of and that i'm the only one that doesn't come to them for money ever or with problems. i'm thankful they paid for it, and i'm thankful i'm surrounded by people that help me a little here and there with problems and that God has blessed us to not need financial help--not that we make that much. i attribute our financial situation to one thing (aside from God)--a relationship with my wife where we agree on every purchase and have the same financial goals for the future.

anyway, just taking a break from all the analyzations, assumptions, and worries to be thankful for my friends and family and blessings.

beyond what we can bear...

i noticed something in my last post that really humbled me. one couple i know has had so many problems with their kids and family, that it literally wears them out. another couple has had the perfect family with no major problems. both couples kids are grown and even have kids of their own. well, i truly admire the couple that has struggled so much and i have even encouraged them that their continuous mountains to climb is because of their faith. God gave the other couple a 'perfect' (tongue in cheek) family because they and their faith couldn't handle anything but that. this couple has been entrusted with a struggling family because of their strength and faith. ok, i see that...wow, what a revelation, right? but, my question is where do i fall? oh, i see the truth and want to be like the faithful couple i admire, but am i even close? my personality and dealings is more in line with the husband of the other couple. i have had some things hit me this year that made me think my life was over...which man is that like? as i look around at other people's struggles, mine really do pale in comparison, yet i still live in fear, worry, and self-pity of my own. currently faced with something that i have to wait over two weeks for an answer to, i am in constant worry and fret...which is a sin. God says he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. if worry is a sin, which it is...if selfishness is a sin, which it is...and if lack of faith is a sin, which it is...then, i am failing God even when he has revealed the path to success through the example of these men...hmmm...agh! gotta work on that...ain't life grand?

Stuff God slapped me with...

ok, i thought i'd start a blog about what God was saying to me recently...i usually blogged that on myspace anyway. sunday at church, we looked at persecution for a while. how essential is persecution to being a Christian? i mean, i don't think we go out and look for it or do things just to stir it up, but if we aren't being persecuted, are we really doing all God has for us to do? during the lesson, i found my self investigating two passages in matthew that are part of the 'sermon on the mount'...one at the end and one at the beginning. first, i looked at the passage beginning in matthew 7:21 (not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord...). i noticed that Jesus mentioned several things people will have done that made them think they were believers when they weren't. he mentioned prophesy (teaching, preaching, etc.). he mentioned casting out demons (maybe helping people change or even pointing them to Christ). and he mentioned miracles (which could be taking credit for miracles they saw, praying for people that real Christians were praying for and seeing them healed, or being the kind of liar we've seen make stuff up and actually begin to believe it themselves--even as they stand before God!). but Jesus did not mention being persecuted here. now, i know someone that isn't really a Christian can be persecuted and even killed thinking they are. but, the fact that he didn't mention that leads me to believe that persecution might be one of the better indicators of whether someone is truly a Christian or not. it would be hard to take perseuction if you were not. also, among Christians, persecution might be a good measure of their faith. i see so many people that think they have it all together. they have their kids raised and think they were the best parents. they think their opinion is better than anyone elses. everything seems to be perfect in their life (other than they don't know people get tired of their opinions and arrogance). well, perhaps their life is so good because their faith isn't strong enough to endure any hardships. maybe God is giving them all they can handle and remain faithful to him. the other passage is the Beatitudes (matthew 5:1-12). this passage sends blessings on those who endure hardships and persecution. i look at the things in my life i consider hardships and wonder if i would quit having so much self-pity, would i be able to do more for God. and as i did, more persecution would come but i be better equipped to handle it as God gave me the strength...and as he gave me more strength, i would be able to do more for him...and as i did more for him... you get the point. but does that seem pointless--to make the 'game of life' harder as you get better in him? no, because we shouldn't be living for this life...we are living for something much bigger!

COMMENTS

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