standing on your own

when i was 7 or 8 years old, i spent weeks at a time of the summer at my grandma's house in vernon. my uncle was 15-16 at the time. he hung out with me the whole time, and i had no idea at the time what a sacrifice that was, but that's another blog for another time. his neighborhood friends (mostly a year or two younger than him) would pick on me all the time. i'm sure it was partially out of frustration of me always being around. my uncle was very protective of me and i soon realized that i could do whatever i wanted because he would not tell on me and he would protect me no matter what. as a child, i quickly took advantage of that. if anyone began to pick on me, i just stood right up to them and was even willing to immediately start throwing punches. no, i didn't think i could take them on 1-on-1, but i knew my uncle would step in and not let them hurt me.

i'm sure that was a tiring relationship for my uncle during those times. he probably thought i really just had a crazed temper and would just do something as stupid as standing up to these older guys when really i only did so because he was there to protect me. i take a lot of pride now in not relying on other people for things. oh, i have no desire to live alone and be without my family and friends. i have a hard time sleeping in an empty house or even an empty bed. but, i never want to take on problems that i expect my family and friends to have to help carry the burden for me. i think there are enough things i need help with in life that i don't need to be putting them on myself.

i try to not take on risks that would effect my family and friends around me. that is really the issue. most people, but not all, don't intentionally bring problems onto themselves and force their friends and loved ones to help with the burden. however, they do take risks that lead to those problems and burdens. we, as Christians, need to be more careful in the risks we take--and how careful we are relates directly to how willing we are to place those burdens on others. if you have someone in your life that continues to be a crutch for you...that bails you out, picks you up, and puts up with more than most people would, you need to evaluate the amount of risk you take that puts them in that position. they love you and want to be there for you, but you abuse that relationship when you do things to please yourself that increase the risk that they'll have to shoulder the burden of your consequences. so don't be risky when it comes to what you volunteer and commit to, the friends you choose that could burn you, your financial dealings and handlings, your forms of entertainment, and even the moods you carry and the words you say.

k, sorry to get so dr. phil on ya...