Exhausted

K...My Saturday consisted of the following:

Left the house at 7:30 a.m. to go to Wichita to ref 3 basketball games at 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30.
Left Wichita at 11:20 to return to Archer to shower and get to the church to help with a funeral lunch by noon.
After the lunch, I set up and ran sound for the 2 p.m. funeral.
After the funeral I jumped in the car and changed on the way back to Wichita to coach Drew's game at 3:30 p.m.
We won that game 18-4.
Drew had another game an hour later at 5:30 p.m.
We were up 17-2 at the start of the 4th quarter, so I left to go to Alisha's game downtown.
The boys finished 19-9 without me.
I got to Alisha's game at the start of the second half. We were up just 3-0.
They finished 7-6...it was a horrible game for us...agh!
We went to Target to buy a birthday present.
We ate at Pizza Hut and had a terrible waitress and I had to explain to Isha what a Robot is (see her myspace blog).
Went to Penneys to exchange some shirts.
Drove home to arrive about 9 p.m. or so.
I showered again...and we gave each other a shoulder rub to get the tention of the day out.
Then, we just laid in bed and talked until we were ready to go to sleep

WHEW!!!!!!!!!

Be Careful Little Eyes

It is obvious that God made us all different for a reason, and I'd never question Him in that. Each person in the body of Christ has different strengths. I have people all the time see things that I don't and get me back on track...although sometimes I don't see until I learn the hard way.

I guess sometimes, in a way, I just wish we all saw things the same way. I mean, don't freak out and start listing the negatives to that. I know them all, but I just mean sometimes i just wish that. We could all just get along. We would be strong about the same things and get hurt byt the same things, but we wouldn't know any different because we'd all be living in ignorant bliss.

The mistakes that you make, everyone would make and we'd all just live with the same consequences. The mistakes you would see someone about to make, they would see too and not make them. We wouldn't improve or grow, but we wouldn't know the difference...

Just a place I'd like to be sometimes...

Where I Am

OK, usually when I go to post, I've either had God hit me with something or I've got something to get off my chest or I've got sporting news to jabber about, but this time I just felt compelled to start typing, so who knows where this is going. (And, can I use the word 'either' with a list of three things or is either like better and only an option between two things?)

Anyway, I do truly love the life that I have. Summer of 2005, we had a two year plan to get here and we did it in one year when the opportunities and doors opened for it to happen that way--when the house we wanted became available and the job that Isha wanted and needed to finish school in time for became available and an opportunity for me to bring in the extra money we needed to make it happen presented itself. I mean, wow, all I could think was that this must have been God at work in our lives. And we did it. Isha finished school, and got the job she had wanted so bad. We finished the work on the old house and sold it for double what we paid for it...including more than we paid in payments, insurance, taxes, interest, upkeep, repairs, and remodeling all put together. I did the extra work for the extra money to remodel, and I helped Isha as much as I could in school.

This was the ultimate "project" we had taken on together and completed together. It was bigger than being in school at the same time with babies, fighting through the 'lean' years of eating hotdogs or something when we couldn't afford anything else. It was harder than me working nights and her days and sleeping in the same bed (at the same time) only twice a week. And it was harder on Isha than any of the postpartum times with either of the kids, and I didn't even know it at the time.

Actually, I was probably pretty sensitive during the year, but when the year was over and I felt all the stress was gone, I lost that sensitivity. In fact, the extra income I was getting lasted longer than I thought and we bought new furniture too, so what was there to be stressed about?...so I thought. Well, I wasn't the one starting a new job, and I was probably a little full of myself as the 'provider' of our family and what 'I' had accomplished and put myself on cruise as the God-appointed leader of the household.

Anyway, I had gone in 'debt' with my family as a husband and a dad, and when payments were due, I was not making them. I don't know that I regret the crazy, busy, hard year because I just see too many things in it that were God-given opportunities and doors that He opened. But, I do hate that I didn't come out of it prepared to pay my family back for working them so hard that year.

I just want to be the kind of dad and husband that makes them proud of me and not just the "pusher" all the time. My kids so love to bring their accomplishments, and I know they work hard for me. They want to celebrate their victories with me over their own teammates. Drew sticks by my side after every game, and it just lets me know that he knows I push him to work hard and part of him does it for me. Alisha, though not usually as motivated, wants to always compliment the cooking (even if she accidently already complained about it) and show me things that she's proud of just looking for my approval. I'm glad to see them work hard, and that they do it in a way that they know it pleases me. I just pray that I can teach them to stop and enjoy it at the same time. I pray that they see in me that I hate that I made that mistake, and that I want to do all I can to make up for it.

I mortgaged that year, and waited another 6 months to begin paying it back. I can see how easy it is for ambitious people continue to get caught up in mortgaging their families and time over and over for another carrot, and it's a sad thing. I pray that I never do it again. I have two of the best kids, and I try to tell them that a lot. I have the best wife that just loves me no matter I do. I love that she is so sensitive to my 'moods,' that she makes our house so beautiful, that she takes pride in what she does, that she keeps me in line with the kids...and the kids in line with me, that she lets me know she appreciates all I do, that she'll sit and watch tv or a movie with me that she might not even like, and that she just looks so dang good all the time...she's the only woman I know in the world that pulls off pretty, cute, beautiful, and sexy at the same time.

I'm just thankful to God for what I have...thankful he gave me both things I don't even deserve and the means to work for things...thankful that he allows me to keep it all in spite of my many imperfections and for giving my family the ability to live with me through those imperfections.

that's my boy

This weekend Drew's 2nd grade Wildcat team faced the undefeated Petrolia Pirates. The Pirates were 4-0 with victories of 35-11, 48-6, 30-10, and a forfeit. We went in short-handed with only 5 boys there for the game. We trailed the entire game with a half-time score of 8-11, and were behind by as much as 7 points. After a couple of steals and fast break points near the end, we entered the final seconds down 13-14. Drew drives to the basket and is fouled on the floor with 13 seconds left. He is shooting 1 and 1 free throws. Before shooting, and without instruction, he "huddles" his team together and instructs them on the importance of getting this rebound. He hits the first one to tie the game up at 14. Then, he misses the second one, but gets his own rebound and puts in for the 16-14 victory. I don't think I said a word during those final seconds of the game...I simply watched in awe as Drew coached the team from the floor to victory, and at that point, I'm not sure if I cared that much about them winning except to see him get what he was working so hard for. As the final buzzer went off, he ran off the court and dove into my arms for a second time (the first coming as we beat Holliday in football with a goal line stand and he was in at cornerback). K, just had to share that proud moment...

esse quam videri

esse quam videri is a greek/latin phrase that simply means "to be, rather than to seem". This phrase jumped out at me because I totally believe this is important and think that this would improve the world so much.

esse quam videri - I hate when people take what I say wrong. I'm not going to intentionally offend someone very often, and when I do, you won't have to wonder if I am or not. So, if it just seems I am, then you're probably wrong, so just relax and assume the best.

esse quam videri - I want relationships to be good...not just seem to be good. I'm a "let's just get it all out there in the open, so there's no misunderstanding" type of person. I tend to be very aware of problems and faults in myself and other people, but I am also usually more sensitive to the fact that we all have quirks, and I don't get too sensitive about some over others. I do appreciate differences and how those differences can be strengths to others' weaknesses.

esse quam videri - We are stuck with family. I don't need to pretend I'm best friends with family to get together and enjoy them. Extended family time, especially in-law time, might never be most enjoyable time, but deep down I believe it is necessary and bearable time with people you love and that love you and that will be there when you need them. So, you don't have to make it seem like something it's not...just let it be what it is and relax and you might even find yourself enjoying it...or at least entertained...lol.

esse quam videri - Our walk with Christ can always seem better than it is as long as we focus on what we do and look like rather than who we really are. Yes, it is scary to look at who we really are because I hate seeing what thoughts can go through my head and what I could be capable of without accountability. But the truth is, if we spend the time focusing on "being" instead of just how we "seem to be," it would fix them both. And although fixing who we are feels like a daunting task, ignoring doesn't help anything...in fact it hurts us.

Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind. Psalm 26:2
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10
ESSE QUAM VIDERI

sometimes...

Sometimes we make mistakes that cost us.
Sometimes the world seems tougher than usual.
Sometimes we find another reason to love someone.
Sometimes we don't understand each other.
Sometimes we have the best time.
Sometimes someone we love hurts us really bad.
Sometimes we have selfish moments.
Sometimes people do just what we need when we need it.
Sometimes we wish we'd stayed in bed.
Sometimes we're right; sometimes we're wrong.
Sometimes we fail at our attempts.
Sometimes we hate life; sometimes we love life.
Sometimes we just feel blah.
Sometimes we forget things we should remember.
Sometimes we remember things we should forget.
Sometimes we discover someone's selfishness.
Sometimes we do the right thing; sometimes we don't.

But, God...
Always "meets our needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:19)
Always "is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Ps 46:1)
Always loves us, "not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 Jn 4:10)
Always "comforts us in all our troubles." (2 Cor 1:4)
Always "forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases" (Ps 103:3)
Always removes our sins "as far as the east is from the west." (Ps 103:12)
Always has "even the very hairs on your head numbered." (Mt 10:30)

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousnes for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, the comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoit my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." - Psalm 23

I include this passage to remind us that these "always" aren't a guaranty of Christianity, of being good, of claiming to know God, or going to church. These "always" pertain to God, our Lord, the Creator, the Father. It's through a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with him that we find and understand these things. I pray that anyone reading this takes time to invest in that relationship today. I pray that anyone feeling they are in "the valley" right now, feels God's arms around them today.

Helping the Needy

In my line of work, I have needy people come to me for help all the time. That is just part of my job and I don't partucularly like or dislike it. I see it as one of the things God has me here for. As Christians, we are supposed to help those around us in need. Yes, after a few times, I require them to do things to help themselves before I'll help any further. It might be to ask their teenage or grown child to get a job, to come in and make a budget with me, or to get rid of unnecessary expenses such as Internet, cell phones, and bottled water. I usually don't hear from them again, but if they don't want to help themselves, then so be it.

Also, you can't get too close to people in need. I'm not refering to just physical needs either. I'm refering to people we see spinning their wheels in life and having self-pity parties all the time. First of all, yes the world is against you. It is supposed to be. But, it's against all of us and we have to get past that and move on with life. These are the people that, if you get too close to, they will drag you down with them.

No matter what you do to help those people, if they never begin helping themselves, their situation will not improve. There is no such thing as a destiny that we are headed to regardless of what we put into life. The only destiny is being destined to fail when we expect more than we put into something. Then, if you are too close to them, their plan turns to continuing to drain your resources because they won't work for any themselves or to simply hurt you because they're jealous of the life you've worked hard for. They can be jealous of someone's money they've saved while they wasted. They can be jealous of someone's "pretty things" while they didn't take care of what they had. They can be jealous of someone's job, career, or position society that they worked hard to get while they were being lazy. They can be jealous of someone's family that they've had to work through the good, the bad, and the ugly to enjoy their marriage and their kids, while they were busy being too selfish to invest in anything but themselves. They can be jealous of someone's looks that they may have spent hours in a gym or watching what they ate while they were Biggie sizing everything. Proverbs warns that being too close to those people can cost you what you've worked hard for because, having nothing to lose, those people will attempt to take what you have, and if you both end up with nothing, they haven't lost anything.

I watch Deal or No Deal last night and as the offer reach $278,000, the husband began to tell his wife to take the deal. The "best friend" was screaming 'no deal'. She went no deal and it dropped to $170,000 on that turn. The husband again begged her to take the deal while her friend continued to scream 'no deal'. Again, she went no deal and it dropped to just $22,000. The husband was looking at the reality of what they had and the friend was just along for the ride and probably knew settling would mean she might not get anything, but winning a million dollars would certainly get her sometime as her friend. Well, this was house money, but what if it hadn't been? And what if it hadn't even been just money? Seems like the friend was a bad influence and more than willing to gamble with something that wasn't her own.

Sure this last weekend, that person would have said, "Bet $10,000 on the Cowboys and we'll split the winnings." What would they have been losing either way? And $10,000 is a lot of money to me, and I would have lost it while they lost nothing. Money is just money, but what if it was, bet your kids? bet your career? bet your marriage? bet your friends? bet your reputation? bet your home? bet your dignity? That person is willing to bet anything you have because they have nothing to lose, and if you lose it all, they just pack up and move on to find someone else willing to "help" them that they can selfishly suck in and begin betting the things they have worked hard for and God blessed them with. They pretend to admire you just to get close enough to take from you, and sometimes they take things that you can never get back.

I quoted this Proverb before in a blog: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20. We help the needy with our resources because we are called to do so, but we don't bet our own 'wealth' (the blessings of God) on them because that is foolish. The wise admire the tiger and throw him the food he needs from a distance. If you get close enough for him to take it, then you could lose an arm with it.

Hate to say I told you so,

but I told you so! Break out the Favre jerseys and the cheeseheads! GO PACKERS!

Cowboys prediction

Yes, it's official. Although I love the Cowboys and want to see them go to the Super Bowl, I have picked against them in my playoff challenge competition. I officially put my money on the Giants. The Giants are playing good despite the loss of Shockey, Eli is finally coming up big in big games, and the team is 8-1 on the road this year with their only loss coming at Dallas in week one. The Cowboys on the other hand have played terrible the last month or more. Romo is flat trying to play the role of Hollywood boy since he got his contract, and his latest antic was to show up in Cabo with Jessica Simpson and her family along with some other players instead of preparing for the playoffs. Who knows what we'll get out of TO. He played big in the Super Bowl with Philly after coming back from a broken leg, but he also led the league in dropped passes last season with a hurt finger. The dreaded high ankle sprain is the type of injury that lingers all season on a wide receiver, much less after just three weeks. I'd love for them to prove me on, and I'll cheer them all the way, but I predict we lose, and that becomes Jerry Jones's excuse to fire Wade Phillips and make Jason Garrett the head coach...but we'll see...

2007

Here's my 2007:

Spent too much money
Ran out of time

Lost 50 pounds
Found 10 of it between Thanksgiving and Christmas

Discovered the best things in life aren't free
They just might not cost dollars

Learned who was my friend and who wasn't
Learned who I can trust and who I can't

Discovered what things were most precious to me
Discovered I had to fight for the things most precious to me

Lost a friend for the nearly the entire year (since December 06)
Found him in December 07...or he found me

Missed the playoffs in FF for the 2nd straight year
Cowboys made the playoffs for the 2nd straight year

Was mentally worn out by my job
Was rejuvenated in it by God

Drew's team finished 1st place in basketballand football, and 2nd in baseball
Alisha's team went undefeated in basketball and that's all she played

Discovered many things I'm not good at
Discovered some new foods I can make

Grew my hair out
Found lots of gray in it

Went to The Fray concert and loved it
Went to a Nickelback concert and hated it...too trashy

Was told I looked like i am 23 or 24
Was told they thought I graduated in the 80s

Time didn't fly this year...
Might have been my longest year yet

Stopped peeling my fingernails
Drank more cokes than any two years combined

Redid a lot on the house...and like it
Am broke from doing so...and hate that

Ate lunch every Wednesday at school with my kids
Wanted to kill them nearly every night at bedtime

Punched a hole in my wall when I was mad
Hit a deer in Isha's car on Christmas night

Learned to play Cards and Marbles
Have like a 12-15 game winning streak in it

Started this blog - it goes to anyone or no one
Dumped my myspace - hated the drama with it

Ran/jogged 10.7 miles to Windthorst
Watched Archer finally beat Windthorst

Threw a New Year's Eve party
SO FREAKIN WON the scavenger hunt

Bring on 2008...might as well...

Cowboys Week 17

PLAYOFF BOUND!

We've had a playoff spot locked up for a while and already had home field advantage locked up before this game, so it should have been meaningless. However, it made me a little more concerned than I already was. This team has bnot been playing good all month. This should have been a effortless first half lead and what happened in the second half could have been meaningless.

Romo has thrown 1 TD and 5 INTs in his last 3 games. TO will be rusty. The Dallas running game was SHUT DOWN this week with a franchise record of only 1 yard rushing including -6 by Marion Barber.

I hope we do a little more than just rest this week...gotta get our heads and skills ready!

Stat of the Week: Dallas RBs 16 rushes for 1 total yard; Portis 25 rushes for 104 yrds, and 2 TDs