Think about what you think about

Last night, I watched the movie "Click" with Isha, we had our devotional together, and then stumbled onto this quote from one of her old blogs:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny!

Our devotional (Joyce Meyer: Battlefield of the Mind Devotional: 100 Insights That Will Change the Way You Think) was all about how your thoughts determine your future and how bad thoughts can lead to failures and misery. And, of course, "Click" is a comedy about a guy that focuses on the wrong things and misses life because of it. This is an area that I sometimes struggle with. I can be very pessimistic and I tend to be miserable with defeat to the point that i'm only slightly satisfied with victory or success. When things go bad, I'm miserable, and when they go good I barely enjoy it.

I love the life that God has given me. I never know what direction it will go, but I don't want to worry about the future at the cost of enjoying the now.

I love my kids, and I am tore up that they are nearly halfway through their time at home and well into the age of remembering everything from that goes on. They can both be difficult at times, but I am so selfish with my time and energy around the house. tonight, we are having family time instead of going to the varsity game. I hope this is the beginning of a better relationship for us as a family.

I love my wife. She is the greatest...people see it, but I've got the best seat in the house, so no one knows like I do. I fail her all the time. I am so ready to take on anything God has for me with her by my side. I can only be happy when she's happy, and I can't help but be sad when she's sad. I can't sleep without her foot touching my leg...seriously. I just wish in my successful quest to find the perfect wife, I'd have spent more time preparing to be the kind of husband that wife needed.

My family is a constant reminder that my relationship to God must stay firm. I cannot be what they need without Him, and every shortcoming in my attempt to be a good father and husband is when I try to do it on my own.

Okay, that wasn't even what I began to blog about, but guess I needed to get that out too. Anyway, I want God to control my thoughts and desires. When I think I'm unhappy, I think I need something more. When that happens I feed a desire for more than what God has for me and has given me. My life is not perfect, but it is perfectly covered in His grace, so I need to quit worrying about every little imperfection and live for Him. My desire is to take care of what God has blessed me with and seek His will for my life--and the lives of my family that He has entrusted to me.

I hope anyone that reads this that finds themselves unhappy can know that true happiness is found only in the will of God, and that will is found through prayer, His Word, church, and godly wisdom from those you know can serve as a mouthpiece of God to you. And don't let Satan, that sorry thief, rob you of the life God promises by putting lies, worries, and hurts into your thoughts!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL." - John 10:10

Cowboys Week 3

Ok, week 3 is in the books. There are still some question marks, but there are some answers too. This offense is the real deal. They laid 34 points on perhaps the stinkiest defense in the league. Romo is for real and TO and Witten are having Pro Bowl seasons. I hope Crayton gets back healthy and in a groove soon. The big concerns for this offense right now are Julius Jones and that 2 receiver spot.

Julius is just not a good back. It appears that we have 2 third down backs. I agree we have to just keep doing what we're doing because we are winning right now. I don't think starting Barber is the answer. I like him coming in fresh and running over people hard. But, Jones is not the starting answer either. I also don't know if we can go all the way with this running back situation. We can make it through the NFC perhaps, but not win a Super Bowl until we can establish the run in the opening series of a game.

Also, there is still a void with Terry Glenn out. We aren't sure if he'll be back at all this season, but we sure do need his presence. If we are going to be in games against New England (in two weeks), we need all of our weapons, and it is looking bleak for Glenn to return anytime soon.
The Cowboys defense basically had a by this week. At least its another week to get healthy. St. Louis is next week, and they are bad, but still have a lot of offensive weapons, and then we have New England. The defense is getting better though...let's just hope it holds true to the games against better offenses.

The Skins lost to the Giants, so the NFC East is already beginning to get jumbled. I don't know if there is another conference where the underdog wins more games than the NFC East. And Philly looked dominant in their ugly throwback jersey win.

Stat of the week: Barber 15 carries, 102 yds, 1 TD when the Bears gave up only 16 carries for 55 yds to Larry Johnson and 17 carries for 25 yds to LaDainian Tomlinson who are suppose to be the top 2 backs in the league.

Frappuccino Delivery

ok, i usually handle situations pretty good and can think quick on my feet, but sometimes i have a real bonehead day and it is usually when the city-boy comes out in me really bad. i have very little country sense--mechanics, being handy, etc. well, i was in wichita yesterday and decided i would swing by starbucks and surprise isha by bringing her a frappuccino...i had them double cup it because i knew i had about a 25 minute drive back to her.

well, i get about 8 miles from archer city and the road is shut down because of a wreck. they say its going to be about an hour. well, i'm sitting there with a cold frappuccino that needed to be delivered quickly, so i turn around and begin to look for a short cut around it. i get on a dirt road and figure as long as i keep turning left i'll eventually get back to the highway or to archer. well, i hit a familiar dirt road and think, great i know this goes there. but, i came to a fork in the dirt road. i took the left fork because, again, i'm trying to keep going south. the roads were pretty muddy, and i've let my back tires get pretty bald. so, as i came up to large stretches of mud and water, i had to drive faster to make it through it. the road i was going down began to get smaller and appear less traveled. i began to worry that i needed to go back. however, i had gone through so many mud holes and long stretches of mud that i wanted to keep going and hope this small road hit the highway at some point. finally, the road almost disappeared and i knew i had to turn around. i tried to find the largest dry area i could to turn around. well, it didn't matter because sure enough i got stuck. as i tried to get out, my truck began to overheat and i stopped. my belt had broken. this was bad news as i knew enough to know this was the only belt and it ran everything so there was nothing to keep the water pump running to cool now.

i climbed out and looked around to try to see where i was. yeah, i had no idea and the lack of tracks on the scarce road let me know help wouldn't be by anytime soon. i could see some powerlines, across the field, so i thought the highway might be close. i looked and saw the top of a rest area that i knew was only a couple of miles from archer, so i started walking down the road further to see if it hit the highway soon. about a mile down, the road was so muddy, i knew i couldn't get through, so i went back to see if the truck had cooled. it had, so i dug out under the tires and put some limbs i had broken off a tree to give me traction. did i mention i'm in jeans and flip flops? yeah, perfect. well, i got the truck out, and stopped for a minute because it was already really hot again. i knew i was going to have to drive fast through the muddy areas again to make out, and that would heat the truck up pretty bad. i started out and nearly got stuck several more times, but finally made it past the mud and to the original fork. i sat and let the truck cool again and started out from there. where i finally hit the highway was about 15 miles from archer, but i left the hood cracked open and the air kept the engine cool until i got to town...exactly 1 hour and 40 minutes after i turned around at the wreck.

yeah, i don't deserve a truck...i should be driving a dodge stratus...oh, and what about the frappuccino? i had poured it on the engine to help cool it off...

Cowboys Week 2

Well, the Boys did take care of business on Sunday...finally. They let the Dolphins hang around way too long though. We still don't know how good this team is considering the two teams they beat have also been beatin by Washington and Green Bay and are a combined 0-4, so there's no reason to jump on the Super Bowl bandwagon just yet. The team had 4 picks without Newman in there, but I swear Trent Green had a concussion relapse out there, but I was pleased nonetheless. Jones started off in a way that made me think I was gonna have to eat my words from last week, but finished with only 32 yds on 15 carries, so my feelings on him remain the same. I'm glad he's there to allow Barber to come in fresh and run over people, but I'd take pretty much anyone in the league there and be just as good. Romo wasn't spectacular with less than a 50% completion rating but with 2 TDs and no picks, I'll take it in a victory. Folk continues to hold his own with 4 XPs and 3 FGs with a long of 47 yds. And most of all, I loved Romo's attempt to get TO the ball early even if that cost him on his completion percentage some. Keep showing TO love! If he could get that Philly team to the Super Bowl three years ago, then we have a shot with him as well. Next week will be a much better test for us as our offense (the highest scoring since 1971 in the first two games - thanks Josh) takes on the Bears 'D' and the defense gets another weak offense lead by Grossman to buy time to get healthy again.

Good Stat of the week: Secondary combines for 4 INTS (Hamlin, Williams, Henry-2)

Bad Stat of the week: Only 2 sacks of an aging Trent Green that attempted 40 passes behind a line that only blocked good enough to gain 61 yds rushing on 21 carries...we need more pressure than that!

Cowboys Week 1

Ok, so i am no football expert and don't really have the credentials to comment on the Cowboys beyond the water cooler, but this is my page, so...

Do we have reason to worry after Sunday night's game against the Giants? I say we do a little. My primary concern is the secondary. On the upside, Newman will come back and help. Maybe we will get better production out of Hamlin as advertised, but Sunday night all I heard from him was a personal foul penalty. The secondary will only get better if they can learn to compensate for Roy Williams's inability to cover. They could use him in a prevent kind of way and let him always play behind the receivers and simply light them up as or after they catch the ball and see if he can cause drops, fumbles, or unconsciousness. Or, they simply need to feed him a biscuit and call him a linebacker. My other concern is the running game. I do like Barber and he runs really hard, but he is not an all-time back and i'm not sure Jones is a good compliment. Does anyone else still cringe to see Dallas traded down when Steven Jackson fell to them? I honestly think that was a worse move than passing on Moss. Romo did prove he's passed the botched snap. The passing game will go far as long as we love on TO and embrace him while totally ignoring anything dumb he says. They don't need to do much more than quietly make sure he has the proper type of people around him. We will be even better if Glenn can come back, but we are fine as is too. The defense has to get more pressure on the quaterback to help the secondary out. I hope the rookie kicker handles the pressure, but we won't know till its too late so hold your breath. All in all, it was an ugly win against a bad team in disarray before they were hit with injuries and we have as many question marks as we did before the game. I don't think Wade Phillips did anything to deserve another head coaching gig, but we've got him and it was time to move Parcells on and get a coach in that players want to play for. TO was more valuable to us than Parcells. Washington beat Miami, so I'm not sure we'll learn much more from this game unless we lose, and that is bad news. We need to at least just go out and take care of business with a smooth easy win.

standing on your own

when i was 7 or 8 years old, i spent weeks at a time of the summer at my grandma's house in vernon. my uncle was 15-16 at the time. he hung out with me the whole time, and i had no idea at the time what a sacrifice that was, but that's another blog for another time. his neighborhood friends (mostly a year or two younger than him) would pick on me all the time. i'm sure it was partially out of frustration of me always being around. my uncle was very protective of me and i soon realized that i could do whatever i wanted because he would not tell on me and he would protect me no matter what. as a child, i quickly took advantage of that. if anyone began to pick on me, i just stood right up to them and was even willing to immediately start throwing punches. no, i didn't think i could take them on 1-on-1, but i knew my uncle would step in and not let them hurt me.

i'm sure that was a tiring relationship for my uncle during those times. he probably thought i really just had a crazed temper and would just do something as stupid as standing up to these older guys when really i only did so because he was there to protect me. i take a lot of pride now in not relying on other people for things. oh, i have no desire to live alone and be without my family and friends. i have a hard time sleeping in an empty house or even an empty bed. but, i never want to take on problems that i expect my family and friends to have to help carry the burden for me. i think there are enough things i need help with in life that i don't need to be putting them on myself.

i try to not take on risks that would effect my family and friends around me. that is really the issue. most people, but not all, don't intentionally bring problems onto themselves and force their friends and loved ones to help with the burden. however, they do take risks that lead to those problems and burdens. we, as Christians, need to be more careful in the risks we take--and how careful we are relates directly to how willing we are to place those burdens on others. if you have someone in your life that continues to be a crutch for you...that bails you out, picks you up, and puts up with more than most people would, you need to evaluate the amount of risk you take that puts them in that position. they love you and want to be there for you, but you abuse that relationship when you do things to please yourself that increase the risk that they'll have to shoulder the burden of your consequences. so don't be risky when it comes to what you volunteer and commit to, the friends you choose that could burn you, your financial dealings and handlings, your forms of entertainment, and even the moods you carry and the words you say.

k, sorry to get so dr. phil on ya...

quality friendships

as a busy society, we have begun to put more and more value on time. i know with my busy schedule, i'd love to have an 8-day week. the problem is that we focus on quantity instead of quality. we will never have more of it, so what we should focus on is the quality of the time we do spend on things.

the same can be said of friendships. we need to focus our efforts with friends on the quality of those friendships and not the quanity. Proverbs 13:20 says, "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." as adults, we teach our kids to choose their friends wisely, but we don't always do the same. this passage shows the difference in having friendships with "the wise" versus "fools." the difference in those two should be obvious, but we are drawn to fools all the time. we devalue what we look for in a friendship. "being around and available" is a false sign of a good friend. you see, they may very well be around because people don't want to be their friend for a reason. they may very well not have friends because they are not a friend themselves. try hanging out with Satan...i'm sure he's available and around for you. that alone does not make a friend. another false sign is that they make you feel good...well, so do drugs, but it's not the kind of "feel good" we need. these aren't bad qualities, but they do not make a friendship, so quit looking for easy and available because it could lead to trouble.

there is greater danger to these types of friendships than simply, "oops, well they weren't a very good friend after all." as this passage states, "a companion of fools suffers harm." notice it doesn't even state that the fool suffers harm, but simply the companion? deep down fools hate their lives, and usually will complain about them all the time. they are always "cheated" but they do nothing to help themselves change it. and you can see it easily as you give them sound advice that they refuse to take. well, those people have nothing to lose. while we think we can help them, and we try to keep the friendship shallow, we will get sucked into their world. and in their world, they have nothing to lose, so they have no problem bringing you down with them or knocking you down to benefit themselves. they don't like themselves, and they still put themselves first...so where does that leave you on their list of priorities and loyalties? very low... watch how they treat their enemies and realize becoming a friend with a fool can easily lead to becoming an enemy. watch as they step on people around them to get higher, and know that being around them can lead to you becoming a "step." watch how they are friendly to people and listen to what they say about them when they walk away because they probably do the same to you.

Proverbs 26:4-11, "do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. like cutting off one's feet or drinking violence is the sending of a message by the hand of a fool. like a lame man's leggs that hang limp is a proverb in the mouth of a fool. like tying a stone in a sling is the giving of honor to a fool. like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passer-by. as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

"Friends are not like books, there aren't good ones and bad ones...they either are one or they aren't."

the blame game

It would be easy to think Joseph could sit back and blame so many things for the problems he had. I mean, his brothers plotted to kill him and sold him as a slave. He works his way back into prominence and his boss's wife lies and accuses him of sexually attacking her. Then, the guy in prison with him forgot his promise to him for a long time. Yes, he finally got through all that and had a happy ending. However, something I think we need to figure with this story is that, like all men, Joseph was not without sin. We don't have the details, but we can see that perhaps some of his problem was arrogance. Although things happened to him that he did not deserve, perhaps his arrogance was something that fueled those who went against him.

In all, what I'm saying is that there will always be things that happen to us that is not a direct result of our own sin, but that does not give us the right to blame anyone. Our sin is the root reason for our suffering and even others at time. God is in control and has the authority and power to protect us from consequences of sin...whether our sins or someone else's. So, if you feel like you are suffering from a consequence of someone else's sin, know that God is in control and your suffering is either ultimately a result of your own sin or a test of fire by which he wants to make you stronger. Either way, you miss the point playing the blame game.

Get up, be strong, pray for the answer, garner support from your Christian brothers and sisters (support, not sympathy), and find His purpose in it all. We are living in enemy territory in this spiritual battle and must be prepared for suffering. Suffering only equals defeat if we let it. Although I hate this world, I love my life and the things in it God has entrusted to me. I can only hope I honor Him in how I manage it. Fall in love with the life God has given you, invest in those around you, and live it in a way to later on present it to him as a gift.

be a quitter

There is nothing more selfish than self pity. There is nothing more dangerous than to surround yourself with "whoa is me!" people. I'm sorry and I know am in this position to serve the needy, but i get really tired of people that feel sorry for themselves and their goal is to make others feel sorry for them too, so they can feel justified in their feelings and lack of motivation. for those who get discouraged all the time and want to quit, here's a quit list for you:
1. Quit looking at successful people and assuming the only difference in you and them is that they caught all the breaks. Most of them made the breaks happen.
2. Quit wanting to be something you're not and can't be. Contrary to the saying, you can't do anything you put your mind to, so start figuring out what you are capable of doing and do that.
3. Quit wanting what other people have. You can have what they have and that still does not make you them.
4. Quit looking for the easy way. God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden and said the easy way is gone.
5. Quit smoking, drinking, and any drugs you might do. Yeah, it's just pretty much stupid and costs a lot of money.
6. Quit wasting. Don't waste money. Don't waste time. Don't waste energy. Don't waste talent. Don't waste opportunities. And, don't waste those same things that belong to other people...that's even worse.
7. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You live in America. You have a better chance of a good life than anyone in the world.
8. Quit hurting other people to make yourself feel better. God is watching and what goes around, comes around. There is no success in that path.
9. Quit cycling. Success is measured by where you are now compared to where you were. If you let yourself go in circles, you'll never get anywhere.
10. And other than this list, quit quitting. Everyone has failures. Some people just look like everything they do succeeds but it looks like that because they didn't quit in the past.
But seriously, there is one sure way to fail...quit on God because nothing you achieve outside of him will ever mean anything. He owns us, and if you have anything that he doesn't own, then you don't really have it. Does he own your possessions? Does he own your friends? Does he own your marriage? Does he own your kids? So quit trying stuff without him and wondering why you fail...

to lose my life

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lost it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." - Matthew 10:37-39
"Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of God." - Galatians 1:10
"...The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." - 1 Samuel 16:7
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you..." - Matthew 28:19-20
These verses have given me a message this week. The thing I am most guilty of all my adult life is not allowing God to control my life. I am truly committed to living a godly life. I also have the added accountability in that of being on church staff. Because I know i want to do right, I allow myself to take control of my life and the things in it instead of God. And wow, everytime I do I get in a huge mess--sometimes a worse mess than if I was just living in sin, I think. That in itself is a scary realization. I see so many people that are trying to do the right thing, but they try to do it as they control their life. They get into mess after mess, so they finally just give into a life of sin because they don't see the difference that God can make. We don't see it unless we actually do give Him control rather than just "doing the right things."
These verses say that very thing. God better be number 1. He has to be before everything and everyone, and we have to push our selfish nature and what we think we want out of life and for our life aside and let him give us what He knows we need. Everytime we do that, we will find greater happiness and joy than if we'd gotten what we initially thought we wanted. We have to seek God's approval instead of what other people want. Is God pleased with who I am? That's all that matters.
When I control my life, I work strictly on the appearance. That leaves me with several problems. Our heart is where most of our sin takes place, so I'm neglecting the area God needs control of most. Also, my actions away from my normal life suffer. If you took the times in my life away from people I know, away from my wife and family and friends...those times would show me to be a dispicable person. I'm referring to times on the phone with some customer service rep, times on vacation, times shopping or something alone, etc. I have used those times to choose to not control my anger, to blend in with world, to stand out as something other than a Christian. I have seen the neglect in those areas have consequences that affect all areas. I'm no scholar, but I know that the Greek verb for "Go" in the great commission actually means "as you go" and "while you are going." I should be carrying the light wherever I go whether I have the accountability of people I know, friends, family, or my wife. God is always there to know what I do and why I do it.
My prayer is that God control all of my life. I don't want to spend time trying to make it "look" good when looks don't matter in much of anything. I want to commit to Isha to be a faithful and excellent husband in her presence and not. I want to commit to my kids to be a good dad in their presence and not. I want to commit to my church to be a righteous employee and member around this community and not. And most of all, I want to commit to God to be a godly man because there is no "and not" to being in His presence
Take a sec and go listen to and read the words to 'Fame' by Rush of Fools.

how i know my friends

i know my friends because:
1. they always answer my calls or texts (at their normal average response time anyway)
2. they love my wife and kids as much or more than they do me
3. they hollar at me to make plans with them
4. they always allow me to put God and my family first
5. they help me carry burdens that i can't carry myself, and drop everything for me because they know i wouldn't ask them to unless i really needed it
6. they fight me for the check at dinner, and they always try to make me owe them more favors than they owe me
7. they listen and listen and listen because they know i usually work it out on my own...i just need someone there to say it all out loud to
8. they can sense my mood and what i need even over the phone
9. they find the best in me, pull it out of me, and then compliment me on it
10. it doesn't take much planning to have fun with them, and when the plans go awry, the fun really begins
this comes not from a list of "what a friend should be" but from my experiences and relationships with my true friends...thanks a million because i wouldn't make it through life without you!