Papa

My papa died on Christmas Day, just after noon. His funeral was on the following Monday, and I gave the following eulogy:

First of all, I would like to thank this church for everything you’ve done for our family. I want to make sure you know that we so appreciate you and your pastor. And I want to make sure you as a church know how much Bro. Gentry did for my family. He was at the hospital every day. He brought coffee, or stayed with Papa while we went to eat, or anything else you could ask. You know, all week, we made statements about it not feeling like Christmas, but the truth is we spent the time leaning on each other as family, being together, and praising God for the assurance of what was happening because he sent his Son to be born in that manger and eventually die for our sins. I don’t know what’s more Christmas than that. Bro. Gentry planned to come back for this, but my grandmother would not hear of him sacrificing that time with his family. I also want to thank my pastor, Roger Deerinwater as he was at the hospital every day and continually checking on our family.
Papa was a faithful member here at Cornerstone, but I happen to know he was a little more faithful the first hour to an hour and half of each service. I guess that was the Baptist still in him. He might wish I could convince you that each time he slipped out early, it was for health reasons and not because his stomach was growling, but it’s a hard sell considering the time he stood up and Bro. Gentry asked him where he was going…he stated that he had heard enough and was going to eat.
Papa was a people person. He got along with everyone. Now, that doesn’t mean he liked everyone…it just means that those of you he might not like, you just probably didn’t know it. He never met a stranger and made friends any place he might be at. He made friends at restaurants with the people at the tables around him and nearly always found a common friend or relative of theirs he knew. I even asked my son what he would miss most about Papa and he said “his jokes and making people laugh” That’s a true compliment from a 9 yr old that put that before the dollar bills he was regularly slipped. I wouldn’t try to do him justice by standing here and sharing jokes like he would. Instead, I want to point out something that we may not even have realized was going on. There are lots of “funny people” in the world, but Papa was not just a comedian. He was not just a story-teller. What he did was tie all of us in his world together with humor and stories. You see, there are a lot of people in this room that I don’t know very well, and a lot of you don’t know me. But I have distant relatives here that I’ve rarely seen, but I know you better because I know your craziest childhood antics and the funny things you’ve said as kids and even adults. I know those of you that worked with him or went to church with him better because I know your catch phrases, your jokes, and especially times when you might have just told it like it was. We all know each other better just because being in his world meant you learned about everyone else in his world.
He was often compared to Bill Cosby, and added to the comparison of his character on the 80s sitcom was the patience he had to have with us his family. He never put you down for your mistakes and usually found a humorous way to let it go. Still in high school, Sue had already had her fourth wreck. When asked about it, he just said that he wasn’t really embarrassed because she was so short in that big car, most people probably didn’t know it was her anyway. Poor Sue, I don’t know how many wrecks she’s had but even if she were to have one today, he’d turn to an angel say something like, “Well, that’s number 23, but I think she’s just about got this driving thing figured out.” He was paying my way through college and as a typically responsible 19 yr old, I went and bought an expensive sports car with outrageous insurance expense. I can imagine now how that would irritate someone, but he just said, “Well, let’s go for a ride,” and then as we were driving, he simply said, “I think everyone needs one of these.” His method of teaching us was to support us and let us learn as we went along, and we all came around eventually. He never hesitated to offer to help us clean up our messes, and buy the same thing for us twice when we might not have taken care of it like we should have. But, we were definitely learning from him all along the way. He gave you no reason to lie to him and no reason to wonder what he thought of you even if he knew all your faults. He was the first to say how proud of you he was in every accomplishment. I know the story of the prodigal son is depicting our Lord, but I can’t hear it without thinking of Papa as well because that’s just how he was--giving and forgiving.
That patience he had with us had to be vented elsewhere, and I think the restaurant business might have caught the brunt of it. There is probably not a restaurant in a 30-mile radius that he didn’t vow to never return to. However, he was very forgiving too, and just weeks after such a statement he might call and ask you to meet him for lunch at that very restaurant.
As Roger stated, his favorite pastime could be summed up in four words: FREE NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS. He did love those free unlimited minutes on his cell phone and loved to keep up with everyone and the humorous things in their lives. You may think it didn’t seem like he called you that much, but that’s only because you don’t realize how many people he kept in touch with. I happen to see his bill regularly and how many of those free minutes he used each month. Those of us in the immediate family received daily phone calls. He wanted us to get together as much as possible and it would begin with hints like, “Well, I know you’ll come see us when you get ready,” and would move on to calling you out of the blue and saying, “We’re about to leave the house and head your way…were we supposed to bring anything?” I often got calls saying he had just arrived at the Dairy Queen in Archer City for coffee, and I could come up there if I wanted to…not much choice there… But I always enjoyed and it was usually just the break I needed. There were just a couple of social settings that he would pass on: Outdoor sports games the kids played in bad weather and anything involving Chuck-e-Cheese.
He was a glue that kept us all close. I know he instilled in us the ability to solve our own problems, to love and appreciate each other as family…even when we want to kill each other at times. He is not just someone we will miss on holidays, but every day that passes and that phone doesn’t ring. I was already saddened as a few days of no calls would come as he was sick and didn’t feel like talking on the phone much anymore and he didn’t stop by for coffee as he had lost his taste for it. But, his suffering is over. We knew he wouldn’t enjoy life at less than 100%, so it was God’s sovereignty that took him home when He did. Even at his weakest state, he couldn’t help but try to entertain any visitors at the hospital and even the nursing staff. I know we will all miss him, and we thank you for being here and supporting us during this time.