My Philippians Read Today...

Just some of my favorite verse out of Philippians that I read today:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 1:21

But whatever was to profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. 3:7-11

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. 4:13

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. 4:19

Did Paul really say he wanted to "share in Christ's sufferings"!? I pray that God will continue to humble me and grow me as I seek him. As much as I've had to lean on him the last couple of years, I find myself sitting around and acting like Jonah, who first sat and sulked, then God gave him a plant to shade him, took that plant away, and watched Jonah complain about losing the plant that wasn't his to begin with. I find myself complaining about the cleaning the home and possessions he gave me, complaining about needing to water the grass I did not plant and certainly did not make grow in the first place, and complaining about family problems when I deserve nothing beyond being alone in the world.

Everything is so different in God's eyes, and as you read his word and try to get closer to him, you see it more. I do have a competitive streak to me, and God has so humbled me. I have sometimes become distracted by trying to please people...I want people to look at me and say, "he's a winner"..."he's got it all together"..."he knows what he's doing"..."I want to be more like him"..."how did he do that?" ...and there is no humility in seeking any of that. If there's a trait I want someone to admire in me, it would be something that I somehow managed to Christ-like in.

So, here I am...nothing special...willing to lose anything because anything can be lost...or taken...at any time. I love and appreciate what I have and know it is all because of a gracious God. I want my life to be defined as Christ and my death as gain. I want to change my perspective as to what is profit and what is loss. I want to consider worldly things rubbish. I want to be righteous. I want to be more like Christ. I want to know I really can do all things through him. I want to realize he has and will meet all my needs and it is not anything about me. And maybe...possibly...someday...I will want to share in his suffering...because I'm so not ready for that and I still have the tendency to wallow in my own which is so much less than his...