the pharisee

you can do what a great husband does, or you can be a great husband.
you can do what a great wife does, or you can be a great wife.
you can do what a great friend does, or you can be a great friend.
you can do what a great parent does, or you can be a great parent.
you can do what a great worker does, or you can be a great worker.
you can do what a great Christian should do, or you can be a great Christian.

you can do the right thing and you'll be right, or you can be the right thing and help make everyone else alright.

God looks at the heart...not what we do, so do your "housecleaning" from the inside-out

a new career

i've got a new career i want to try to sell you on. here's the deal with it. you will spend at least 90% of your time learning how to do it, and maybe 10% of your time actually doing it. so, let's say with most things, you spend 5 years in college, then 45 years doing it. well, with this career, you'll spend 45 years in college, then 5 years doing it. doesn't sound appealing? well, how would you like that to be your career and how would you like to be a spokesman or recruiter for that career? oh, this does exist in our world. we call it church. we spend at least 90% of our time learning to do the work of God, but we'd be pushing it to say we actually even do the work we learn about 10% of the time. no wonder it isn't appealing to people. the appeal of the gospel should come from seeing us live it and reach out with more than a lesson or Bible study. people have to see Jesus in us and not just rolling off our lips.

count the cost or increase the value

The Bible says to us, we should always count the cost. i think too many times, we misinterpret that phrase by looking strictly at the 'cost'-what we pay. 'count the cost' actually means to weigh the price or cost against the value to you of that item. it may cost everyone the same, but if the value is more to you than others, you are getting more and willing to "pay" more. the other thing that we sometimes don't take into account is that the value can change, and usually we have the power to change it--specifically by increasing it as we invest in it or even devaluing it as we abuse it.

this may sound like a lot of babbling nonsense until you realize that i'm talking about the people we love. the 'cost' of our loved ones is sharing their burdens, hardships, troubles, and personality 'quirks'. the value is what they mean to us, what we get in return, and how we love them and need them. the cost can change as things in their lives change, but as we invest in them, the value they have to us can continually increase. we invest different amounts to different ones--hopefully, the biggest investment is going to your spouse. as their value increases, the cost begins to not matter because it will never catch up to the value they hold for you. most romantic movies show two people in love with one or both enduring a high "cost" for other, and that makes us cry at how much they love each other. that is not just a movie thing...it's achieved by increasing the value that your loved one has to you to where the cost is irrelevant.

christ put that kind of value on us...and the cost was very high, but he paid it for us because he loved us, and that is our example. "husbands, love your wives just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25). your friendships become lasting when the value of that friend continues to increase. your marriage stays strong when the value of your spouse continues to increase--and it becomes beautiful when the cost becomes irrelevant.

take-and-take-and-take

ever notice how so many elementary age kids will pour their energy into trying to be friends with certain people (usually popular kids) and get very little in return? yeah...usually, they get "crapped" on in return, but yet they continue to pour that energy into it instead of just giving up and moving on to a relationship that has a more balanced give-and-take. yeah, if you were one of those kids or saw others doing it, you can't help but think, "man, if i could just do that over, i'd so blow those people off and find friends that aren't so self-centered and 'taking'." well, the truth is, as adults we do the same thing, and i have no idea why. we can get "crapped" on by the same people over and over, yet we continue to go out of our way to seek their approval and make them happy. why do we do it? why can't we just decide it isn't worth it and do things for people that care? why can't we just put ourselves out for people that would do the same for us if we needed it? instead, we go out of our way and put ourselves out for people that will never acknowledge it. we give up time, money, and sometimes things that are very important to us (and not necessarily to them). yet, it only makes them expect more and more from us to keep them happy, and then they will complain about the one thing you don't do for them sometime. where do they even learn to live like the world revolves around them...like their problems are worse than anyone else's, to believe they are the most important person to themselves and you, and actually get you to act like it too? just shows how easily manipulated we are!

Rush of Fools

got a new CD and i'm lovin' it, so i thought i'd pass it on in case anyone else might like them. it's the best original praise and worship album i've heard in a while. (do they still call them albums or am i just old?) anyway, it's called Rush of Fools (the band and the album title). This CD is the most humbling music i think i've ever heard. if the band/writers really have this kind of heart, i'll bet they lead incredible worship. the first song "undo" is incredible as well as "fame." here are the words to those two:

undo
i've been here before / now, here i am again / i'm standing at the door praying you'll let me back in / to label me a prodigal would be only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be
turn me around, pick me up, undo what i've become / bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace / i need you, need your help, i can't do this myself / you're the only one who can undo what i've become
i focused on the score but i could never win / trying to ignore a life of hiding my sin / to label me a hypocrit would be only scratching the surface of who i've been known to be / make every step lead me back to the sovereign that you
turn me around, pick me up, undo what i've become / bring me back to the place of forgiveness and grace / i need you, need your help, i can't do this myself / you're the only one who can undo what i've become

fame
I have tried to follow, I have tried to lead / I have failed at everything / I have been the culprit to my selfish needs, made everything but You my King / I couldn't be any less worthy To spend one day much less forever with You
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control / I lift my voice, I have no choice / My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, Your fame
I have not seen heaven, I haven't seen Your face / But I've seen Your Spirit move and Jesus it's amazing the evidence of grace standing all around this room / I'm merely a product of mercy / The target and victim of Your perfect love
I lift my hands just as I am, I'm letting go of false control / I lift my voice, I have no choice / My life is Yours, use me for Your fame, spreading like a flame
Let every breath proclaim glory to Your name / You can't be contained and I'll never be the same

tennis and chess and old age

yeah, i played my first competitive set of tennis last night in at least three years, and i looked like a 50-yr-old man. i lost 1-6 and worst of all, i ignored exactly what i tell people is one of the most important tennis rules. it isn't about winning every point or even the most points--it's about winning the right points. in points, i really only lost 21-32...doesn't sound near as bad as 1-6, but it was because i didn't win the right points that made the game count so bad. it's like chess...you don't have to capture the most pieces to win necessarily. in tennis, you can actually win in points 34-30 and yet lose a set 4-6 because you didn't win the right points. and in my case, i was just shooting for a decent game count and didn't get it as i won 40% (21 of 53) of the points but only 14% (1 of 7) of the games. if i had won 40% of the games, it would have been a decent 4-6 loss. but maybe a bigger story was the lack of speed, choking on some easy shots, and weak serving i showcased with lack of competitive play in recent years, but also a rapidly aging body.

the weekend of nothing

well, just had a great weekend that sounds like totally nothing and boring when told or written out...but idc. i spent a total of about 14 hours driving, walked a dirt track behind a jewelry store and later by a river, went to the library and saw some guy looking up porn in front of everybody, watched a girlie movie i've seen more than once already. played Guitar Hero 1 & 2 and developed a strange uncontrollable twitch in my finger, worked out a little, ate wayyy too much, and met george washington. yeah, but i had the best company you can imagine who provided great conversation and fun, who bought me new clothes and a new watch, and who made me feel like i was the most important person in the world! anyway, i've got nothing profound...just wanted to share that.

thankfulness

ever feel the need to post something even though the creativity doesn't seem to be flowing? yeah, well, that's the case for me right now. i just want to thank the friends that i have around me for being there for me...beginning with my best friend, my wife, isha. i'm told i'm not an easy person to read or get close to. and actually, odds are that most people that know i consider them to be a friend, are higher on my friend list than they think because of that. there is simply only a handful that i really open up to, and usually even then, its out of desperation as a last resort. anyway, everything's great with my life right now. i do feel "bruised" from God workin me over, but that is only for the better. i feel stronger everyday, and i know a lot of that is due to friends saying, 'you have to let God have it'.

i know God has blessed me with the most beautiful wife that is perfect for me, and i only hope i continue to grow to be more and more the husband she needs. my kids challenge me everyday, but i see them outgrowing and overcoming traits that cursed me for years longer than them. God has priviledged me to have a job where i'm paid to do ministry and can even have the extra time to be a better husband and dad when i need it.

i met my grandparents for coffee yesterday, and they told me for the nth time how proud they are of me. they paid for my college, and say that they've spent less on me than any other kid or grandkid, but i did the most with it and it's an investment they are most proud of and that i'm the only one that doesn't come to them for money ever or with problems. i'm thankful they paid for it, and i'm thankful i'm surrounded by people that help me a little here and there with problems and that God has blessed us to not need financial help--not that we make that much. i attribute our financial situation to one thing (aside from God)--a relationship with my wife where we agree on every purchase and have the same financial goals for the future.

anyway, just taking a break from all the analyzations, assumptions, and worries to be thankful for my friends and family and blessings.

beyond what we can bear...

i noticed something in my last post that really humbled me. one couple i know has had so many problems with their kids and family, that it literally wears them out. another couple has had the perfect family with no major problems. both couples kids are grown and even have kids of their own. well, i truly admire the couple that has struggled so much and i have even encouraged them that their continuous mountains to climb is because of their faith. God gave the other couple a 'perfect' (tongue in cheek) family because they and their faith couldn't handle anything but that. this couple has been entrusted with a struggling family because of their strength and faith. ok, i see that...wow, what a revelation, right? but, my question is where do i fall? oh, i see the truth and want to be like the faithful couple i admire, but am i even close? my personality and dealings is more in line with the husband of the other couple. i have had some things hit me this year that made me think my life was over...which man is that like? as i look around at other people's struggles, mine really do pale in comparison, yet i still live in fear, worry, and self-pity of my own. currently faced with something that i have to wait over two weeks for an answer to, i am in constant worry and fret...which is a sin. God says he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. if worry is a sin, which it is...if selfishness is a sin, which it is...and if lack of faith is a sin, which it is...then, i am failing God even when he has revealed the path to success through the example of these men...hmmm...agh! gotta work on that...ain't life grand?

Stuff God slapped me with...

ok, i thought i'd start a blog about what God was saying to me recently...i usually blogged that on myspace anyway. sunday at church, we looked at persecution for a while. how essential is persecution to being a Christian? i mean, i don't think we go out and look for it or do things just to stir it up, but if we aren't being persecuted, are we really doing all God has for us to do? during the lesson, i found my self investigating two passages in matthew that are part of the 'sermon on the mount'...one at the end and one at the beginning. first, i looked at the passage beginning in matthew 7:21 (not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord...). i noticed that Jesus mentioned several things people will have done that made them think they were believers when they weren't. he mentioned prophesy (teaching, preaching, etc.). he mentioned casting out demons (maybe helping people change or even pointing them to Christ). and he mentioned miracles (which could be taking credit for miracles they saw, praying for people that real Christians were praying for and seeing them healed, or being the kind of liar we've seen make stuff up and actually begin to believe it themselves--even as they stand before God!). but Jesus did not mention being persecuted here. now, i know someone that isn't really a Christian can be persecuted and even killed thinking they are. but, the fact that he didn't mention that leads me to believe that persecution might be one of the better indicators of whether someone is truly a Christian or not. it would be hard to take perseuction if you were not. also, among Christians, persecution might be a good measure of their faith. i see so many people that think they have it all together. they have their kids raised and think they were the best parents. they think their opinion is better than anyone elses. everything seems to be perfect in their life (other than they don't know people get tired of their opinions and arrogance). well, perhaps their life is so good because their faith isn't strong enough to endure any hardships. maybe God is giving them all they can handle and remain faithful to him. the other passage is the Beatitudes (matthew 5:1-12). this passage sends blessings on those who endure hardships and persecution. i look at the things in my life i consider hardships and wonder if i would quit having so much self-pity, would i be able to do more for God. and as i did, more persecution would come but i be better equipped to handle it as God gave me the strength...and as he gave me more strength, i would be able to do more for him...and as i did more for him... you get the point. but does that seem pointless--to make the 'game of life' harder as you get better in him? no, because we shouldn't be living for this life...we are living for something much bigger!