It's All Relative

I've never really had the notion to get into psychology or sociology too much, but I do get interested in how it relates, fits in, and affects our relationship with God. One thing that I say over and over is how the things we want (or need) is all relative to what others have, what we see we could have, or what we might have even had in the past. For example, we can irritated as we pull into Allsups or some little store if we have to park at the end or even around the corner from the door. Yet, if you measured that distance in feet, we'd love a parking spot at Wal-mart that close. And the spots at Wal-mart we complain about are about the distance we'd love to have at a concert, major sporting event, or Six Flags. Obviously, it's all about what we have compared to others or what we might have gotten in the past.

We think we need things that didn't even exist 20 years ago. We discard things that are just fine, but we consider out of date. We just have a disease that one of the most worldly rooted thing that affects all people. We do it with things, friends, spiritual gifts, talents, family, ...pretty much anything. We are warned about storing up treasures on earth in Matthew 6:19 and about coveting in Exodus 20:17. But, I think the most important to remember who should own our things, our talents, and even us ourselves. There is great wisdom in Jesus's "Sermon on the Mount" in Matthew 5-7, but God's most powerful message in the Bible I've seen is Job 38-41 as God speaks to Job. He had taken everything from him and his friends wanted him to turn on God. After a time of silence, this was God's message to Job. It can be summed up by God telling Job how powerful he is, and Job's answer in Job 42:1-6 tells us he got the message.

Job's lesson and us wanting 'things' may not seem to go together that much, but if we got the message that Job did...and we have the benefit of reading it in Job...then why do we worry so much about things? I use the word 'things' because it can be material or immaterial. It can be a better car or a better job. It can be a house or a talent. It can be better kids, a better spouse, a better boss, a better extended family, or just more money. It can even be that we covet better health or even healthier kids instead of the ones we have. I am all about working hard and bettering our lives, our situation, or finding more ways to enjoy life. But, we don't deserve anything we have, so why do we think we deserve better? Because someone else has better? Because we've seen or heard about better? Because maybe we've had better before?

That last think to remember is that we have exactly what God wants us to have until he directs us to more. Probably the oddest thing on my list above was wanting healthier kids. I know it was just a movie, but remember the movie Signs? Remember how the son's asthma was so severe and giving him so many problems...almost killing him at times. What was it that eventually saved his life from the poison? It was the asthma that God had given him that kicked in at just the right time to close his lungs and prevent the poison from entering. You may have a car the breaks down all the time because you needed to be stalled one day to miss an accident or maybe you are suppose to witness to the mechanic you now frequent or maybe it breaks down when you can't afford a new one and God somehow provides a way for you to get one and he wants you to see it was through him you could. There are a million possibilities for everything that we consider bad to be good because God wanted it that way.

Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

There is a good reason your child may have a quirk in there personality that drives you crazy.
There is a good reason you have those family members that you dread seeing.
There is a good reason you have that job, co-worker, or boss that you can't stand.
There is a good reason that car keeps breaking down.
There is a good reason God took that loved home to be with him.
There is a good reason you feel a task has been put upon you you aren't qualified for.
There is a good reason your bills and paycheck don't add up.

But using my quote above by C.S. Lewis:
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

You can't now just sit back and think, "Oh, there's a good reason for all this crap in my life..." You have to seek God to find that good. Without that, there's always room for it to get worse before we find that good in it through Him.

On a side note and unrelated deal, I have to mention a small proud moment. I taught the other night at GTIME about praying more and spending more time with God. Without saying a word to us, Drew went to his room that night and began to pray. We only know because in his prayers, he began praying for Papa (who passed away on Christmas Day) and we could hear him crying and checked on him. Drew has such a tender heart for a rough tough sports guy. I love when it's just the 2 of us doing whatever. He'll come help me at the church with whatever anytime, and I just enjoy him and those 'father-son' times. I especially love that he's growing in church and in his relationship with the Lord as we get a lot of time to talk about it during those times alone. He fits in wherever he is and with whatever age-group he's with, and he makes friends with new kids all the time. ...And I have to admit, I love to have a kids that actually listens to his dad teachings at church...lol.

The Forfeit

Well, I had my first big coaching blunder...the first to directly cost me a game. In our league, there are substitution rules designed to keep the playing time pretty equal. For 7-10 players, everyone has to play 2 quarters and no one can play more than 3. However, I have that odd team with 11 players. The rule for that is that every player has to play 1 1/2 quarters, and I have to sub halfway thru the 3rd and 4th quarters to make that happen. The exact thing I must do is that one player that didn't play in the first half must play the 3rd and then sub back in for someone halfway thru the 4th quarter at the 4 minute mark. We were playing Iowa Park, and for whatever reason, they were irrate the entire game and yelling at the refs and had even been given 2 Ts. Well, there's a problem with the substituting because the clock faces the crowd and not the bench...to where I have to walk onto the court to see it. I have been close to missing the time several times over the last two years, but usually got it in. Well, with this game being a little more intense than usual, I looked up to find just over a minute left in the game. I had missed it by nearly 3 minutes. The player that needed to come in was equal to the one she was coming in for and we were up 28-17, so it was obviously of no benefit to me to not do it. She ended with 9 minutes instead of the mandatory 12. The penalty for a team protesting you not substituting right--a forfeit. The team decided to make us forfeit. It's a strict rule, but it is that way to keep people from purposefully cheating and then making excuses later. I'm not sure if they really believe that I cheated or if they just wanted the win, but they got it either way. Up until this year, first place was just determined by overall record. Beginning this season, there are playoffs in place to determine the champion, so luckily this game will only matter in the seeding of the playoffs and has no bearing on whether we win it all or not--maybe we will even face this team again in the playoffs, who knows?

On a side note, Alisha had a big game with 6 points...go girl.

The Journey

There are so many times in life that I want to just give up. I know that anything is possible through God, but I also know that he puts limits on us that just probably aren't going to change. There are the extremes...like I will never win an Olympic medal...and even less likely, I will never fly. Yes, God can do anything he wants, but we know that there are a lot of things that he does not have in his plan to step in to do. It goes from those extremes down, but everything seems to have a certain percent chance of happening, and God is not likely to alter those chances very often. We have to make decisions in life based on those limitations, and expect the failures and successes of life to coincide with those percentages.

Obviously, I'm not talking about God speaking to us to do something that we don't think we have much chance of doing. I know that those are the times he does step in and helps us beat the odds. But, generally speaking, we will live the majority of life dealing with those odds and percentages.

That said, we have to prepare ourselves for the failures in life. Some are physical, some are moral, and some are spiritual. I have always looked at my life as climbing a mountain. I always thought of it as climbing a mountain that had several plateaus along the way. In other words, you worked hard to reach a certain spot, and then you rested and enjoyed it for a while. After a time of rest and enjoyment, you began to climb again with your eye on the next plateau. And somewhere at the top was a plateau that you would end up at and rest and enjoy life until you die or until Jesus returns.

I hated the idea of "setbacks." I hated the idea of getting knocked down only to have to reclimb a certain area for a second time. I've had some big kick backs in my life lately, but I realize that it's not a "reclimbing" for no reason. I am learning new lessons I missed the first time and being reminded of some I might have forgotten. Most importantly, I've learned that the plateaus aren't there for me to stop and enjoy. That mentality caused me to miss three very important facts:

1. Because plateaus aren't there for me to stop and enjoy, I have to realize that enjoyment of life has to me "all along the whole trip." God didn't design us to live life at only full-speed and stopped. I have to pace myself and enjoy it all along to enjoy it at all. I do have to stop and rest, regroup, and look both back and forward to prepare for the next stretch of climbing, but the enjoyment still has to come all the way.

2. There are always parts of life that we aren't going to like. There are times when we struggle in our marriage, our jobs, our friends, our kids, and our relationship with God. We have to find the balance of taking the enjoyment from the positive areas, but not neglecting to better all of the areas.

3. There is no top to our mountain here on this earth. I wondered once if there would be a point to a man climbing a mountain only to die as soon as he reached the top. I realize that this world is just a blip on the timeline of my eternity, and if I spent the whole time "working" and "climbing" and never enjoy the results the way I wanted to, then that's okay. You see, I'm driving in a race where the winner's circle is in heaven and it wouldn't matter if I died in a crash on my final lap or my first lap, and it could very well be that I'm only here to work and climb (and sometimes reclimb) and never see the benefits until I get to heaven. Think about it like a basketball game where your high school team is playing in a league against NBA players. God does not promise that through him we won't go out every night and get stomped by those teams. It says he can give us that victory at any time, but our victory may not come until we are gone from this world. Someone may look at our lives and think, "they worked and worked but never got anywhere." If that work was what God intended for you to do, then you did get somewhere, but it won't be seen in this lifetime.

Daniel 3:16-18:
"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If that is the case, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up."

Acts 7:59-60:
And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not charge them with this sin." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

The only difference in these two stories is how God chose to work. Each person had the same responsibility to do what they did. The earthly result was different, but the eternal result was the same.

Not sure if this helps anyone else, but I pray that I can work and climb even harder in life while realizing that I may only be working for the promise to stand before God one day and be judged based on my journey rather than my accomplishments because my destination is set. When that is the case, it no long matters where you are at in your climb, or if you fall back from time to time...it only matters that you continue that climb.

Papa

My papa died on Christmas Day, just after noon. His funeral was on the following Monday, and I gave the following eulogy:

First of all, I would like to thank this church for everything you’ve done for our family. I want to make sure you know that we so appreciate you and your pastor. And I want to make sure you as a church know how much Bro. Gentry did for my family. He was at the hospital every day. He brought coffee, or stayed with Papa while we went to eat, or anything else you could ask. You know, all week, we made statements about it not feeling like Christmas, but the truth is we spent the time leaning on each other as family, being together, and praising God for the assurance of what was happening because he sent his Son to be born in that manger and eventually die for our sins. I don’t know what’s more Christmas than that. Bro. Gentry planned to come back for this, but my grandmother would not hear of him sacrificing that time with his family. I also want to thank my pastor, Roger Deerinwater as he was at the hospital every day and continually checking on our family.
Papa was a faithful member here at Cornerstone, but I happen to know he was a little more faithful the first hour to an hour and half of each service. I guess that was the Baptist still in him. He might wish I could convince you that each time he slipped out early, it was for health reasons and not because his stomach was growling, but it’s a hard sell considering the time he stood up and Bro. Gentry asked him where he was going…he stated that he had heard enough and was going to eat.
Papa was a people person. He got along with everyone. Now, that doesn’t mean he liked everyone…it just means that those of you he might not like, you just probably didn’t know it. He never met a stranger and made friends any place he might be at. He made friends at restaurants with the people at the tables around him and nearly always found a common friend or relative of theirs he knew. I even asked my son what he would miss most about Papa and he said “his jokes and making people laugh” That’s a true compliment from a 9 yr old that put that before the dollar bills he was regularly slipped. I wouldn’t try to do him justice by standing here and sharing jokes like he would. Instead, I want to point out something that we may not even have realized was going on. There are lots of “funny people” in the world, but Papa was not just a comedian. He was not just a story-teller. What he did was tie all of us in his world together with humor and stories. You see, there are a lot of people in this room that I don’t know very well, and a lot of you don’t know me. But I have distant relatives here that I’ve rarely seen, but I know you better because I know your craziest childhood antics and the funny things you’ve said as kids and even adults. I know those of you that worked with him or went to church with him better because I know your catch phrases, your jokes, and especially times when you might have just told it like it was. We all know each other better just because being in his world meant you learned about everyone else in his world.
He was often compared to Bill Cosby, and added to the comparison of his character on the 80s sitcom was the patience he had to have with us his family. He never put you down for your mistakes and usually found a humorous way to let it go. Still in high school, Sue had already had her fourth wreck. When asked about it, he just said that he wasn’t really embarrassed because she was so short in that big car, most people probably didn’t know it was her anyway. Poor Sue, I don’t know how many wrecks she’s had but even if she were to have one today, he’d turn to an angel say something like, “Well, that’s number 23, but I think she’s just about got this driving thing figured out.” He was paying my way through college and as a typically responsible 19 yr old, I went and bought an expensive sports car with outrageous insurance expense. I can imagine now how that would irritate someone, but he just said, “Well, let’s go for a ride,” and then as we were driving, he simply said, “I think everyone needs one of these.” His method of teaching us was to support us and let us learn as we went along, and we all came around eventually. He never hesitated to offer to help us clean up our messes, and buy the same thing for us twice when we might not have taken care of it like we should have. But, we were definitely learning from him all along the way. He gave you no reason to lie to him and no reason to wonder what he thought of you even if he knew all your faults. He was the first to say how proud of you he was in every accomplishment. I know the story of the prodigal son is depicting our Lord, but I can’t hear it without thinking of Papa as well because that’s just how he was--giving and forgiving.
That patience he had with us had to be vented elsewhere, and I think the restaurant business might have caught the brunt of it. There is probably not a restaurant in a 30-mile radius that he didn’t vow to never return to. However, he was very forgiving too, and just weeks after such a statement he might call and ask you to meet him for lunch at that very restaurant.
As Roger stated, his favorite pastime could be summed up in four words: FREE NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS. He did love those free unlimited minutes on his cell phone and loved to keep up with everyone and the humorous things in their lives. You may think it didn’t seem like he called you that much, but that’s only because you don’t realize how many people he kept in touch with. I happen to see his bill regularly and how many of those free minutes he used each month. Those of us in the immediate family received daily phone calls. He wanted us to get together as much as possible and it would begin with hints like, “Well, I know you’ll come see us when you get ready,” and would move on to calling you out of the blue and saying, “We’re about to leave the house and head your way…were we supposed to bring anything?” I often got calls saying he had just arrived at the Dairy Queen in Archer City for coffee, and I could come up there if I wanted to…not much choice there… But I always enjoyed and it was usually just the break I needed. There were just a couple of social settings that he would pass on: Outdoor sports games the kids played in bad weather and anything involving Chuck-e-Cheese.
He was a glue that kept us all close. I know he instilled in us the ability to solve our own problems, to love and appreciate each other as family…even when we want to kill each other at times. He is not just someone we will miss on holidays, but every day that passes and that phone doesn’t ring. I was already saddened as a few days of no calls would come as he was sick and didn’t feel like talking on the phone much anymore and he didn’t stop by for coffee as he had lost his taste for it. But, his suffering is over. We knew he wouldn’t enjoy life at less than 100%, so it was God’s sovereignty that took him home when He did. Even at his weakest state, he couldn’t help but try to entertain any visitors at the hospital and even the nursing staff. I know we will all miss him, and we thank you for being here and supporting us during this time.